


Be With Me, I'm With You

by azhawritesreylo



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Ben Solo Deserved Better, Ben Solo Lives, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Canon Rewrite, DYAD, Dark Rey (Star Wars), Dark Reylo, Empress Rey, Eventual Romance, F/M, Fix-It, Fix-it fic, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force Lightning, Force Sensitivity, Force Visions, Good Parent Han Solo, Kylo Ren Redemption, Movie: Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, POV Rey (Star Wars), Post-Canon Fix-It, Post-TRoS, Redeemed Ben Solo, Rey Needs A Hug, Rey deserved better, Spoilers, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Spoilers, The Dark Side of the Force, The Force Ships It
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-21
Updated: 2020-02-02
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:42:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 13
Words: 24,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21885427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/azhawritesreylo/pseuds/azhawritesreylo
Summary: “You know what you need to do,” he says. “You know.”He held out his hand, like he promised he would.The choice was up to her now. And there was only now. She can’t go back from this.“I do.”Rey takes it.(BEWARE: TROS SPOILERS)
Relationships: Han Solo & Kylo Ren, Kylo Ren/Rey, Leia Organa & Ben Solo, Poe Dameron & Finn & Rey, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 42
Kudos: 361
Collections: TROS Reylo Fix-it Fics





	1. Rey

**Author's Note:**

> I don't think I'll be able to function properly till I make peace with this.  
> I *will* alter a *LOT* of the information given to us in TROS. Some may be in reference and I will try to make sense of it as much as possible so this story can be in tune with the movie without being so bloody ridiculous. 
> 
> Godspeed, rebels.

_ Chewie was safe. _

—that was her first thought.

She didn’t kill him. She didn’t kill her friend.

_ But she could have.  _ That was the problem. Had it been the right transport, Chewbacca will be lost forever, and Rey has no idea how she’ll ever be able to look at herself—and Leia—ever again. She wasn’t taking any chances now.

Kylo Ren was more than determined to get her in control of the darkness inside her.

_ Another teacher _ , she thought.  _ Another Skywalker to show me the way… _

No words were exchanged at first. What were they supposed to say in this moment? Nothing felt suitable. Besides, the Supreme Leader was more than occupied trying to get everyone in order (and not shoot her on sight). Rey just followed him, shadowing his every move. He didn’t show any signs that she shouldn’t.

And then they held a meeting with the First Order’s high-ranking officers. Suffice to say, General Pryde was more than set on seeing her executed.

“The Resistance’s pride and beacon,” he huffed. “Her death will dampen their spirits to say the least. She could end this war once and for all.”

“That would be amusing,” Kylo replies. “But you won’t be carrying out that order, General.”

The old man looked genuinely confused. “Do you wish to do it yourself?”

“The girl is invaluable—” as to whom or what, no one asked. Not even Rey. “She’s on my side now,” the Supreme Leader declares.

The room was still. No one spoke. They wouldn’t dare go against his orders, knowing his temper as well as the magnitude of his power. Besides, it was all so bizarre to have anything to say.

Rey shifted on her footing. Kylo moved to leave the room and she followed immediately, leaving the table of baffled men to their own devices. Out in the corridor, they walked side by side. She fell easily into step with him. And then, very subtly, his arm slides behind her. Rey begins to feel a slight pressure and she realizes that it’s his hand on her back, leading her.

It reminded her of that day they first fought together…when he brought her to Snoke. And yet it was a gesture that was more Ben than the mighty Kylo Ren.

“I’m with you,” and this was spoken in the quietest voice, yet they were the loudest words Rey have ever heard. “I’m with you,” Ben says again, more resolute this time.

And he was. Rey found this all to be true. She could see it. This man would move systems for her if it was what she needed done. They moved in-sync and with purpose. This will work.

Nothing can stop them now.

“We have to get it right if we want this to work.”

They’ve been sparring with their sabers for hours, but it was controlling her temper and impulsiveness that was tiring. Rey didn’t realize how angry she was at everything she’s learned, everything she apparently was, and everything she’s been through, till she had to confront it.

The lightsaber in her hands only fueled that rage.

“Rey?”

Her breath was ragged but she managed to suppress a sob before it could betray her. Looking up to see Ben Solo’s eyes trained intently on her felt like shade in the sun, shielding her from the heat. He sees only her, even though all she is turned out to be someone else entirely. She turns off the saber; this tool that was ignited by a thousand generations before her, one that she is a part of in the worst possible way, this weapon that was meant for a Jedi.

_ No _ , she realized. It was this weapon that was meant for a Skywalker.

Memories from the Star Killer Base resurfaces. She and Ben were nothing but enemies then. She hated him, or rather everything he stood for. And he was a monster, just having killed his father. He wanted the saber, but it called to her.

Now she knows it was all a big mistake.

After all this time, Rey decided to finally give him what he wanted.

“It belongs to you,” she says with her hand outstretched and the saber in it. “It’s always belonged to you.”

He stared at it for a time, not moving. How long had he waited for this moment, she wondered? But then Ben gently pushes her hand back, refusing to take it.

“It should be yours,” she insisted.

He shakes his head, a grim smile on his lips. “You won’t be able to fight if you don’t have one. And besides, how else are we going to train if you don’t have a weapon?”

“Can’t I make one?’ She asked, the idea just popping into her head. It would be better to have something of her own—one that she made, like her staff.

_ A staff. _

“Do you know how?” Ben seemed amused.

But this time it was her that shook her head, a little embarrassed. “I was hoping you could teach me that, too.”

He nodded at this and after a while, he said, “In the meantime, hold on to that for me?”

She didn’t want to. “What for?”

“I do have a reputation to uphold.”

It was a reasonable request, but it still pained her to see it, to look at everything it represents. Everything that wasn’t her, or what she believed herself to be. She would have to tuck it away, hidden like a forgotten memory as she’s always done.

“Meet me in the armory in half an hour,” Ben says, turning to leave. “I’ll have to make sure you have all the equipment you’ll need…and that we don’t get disturbed.”

“Ben?”

He halts in his tracks, yet he didn’t turn nor did he correct her.

“Where will I be staying?” She felt stupid for asking something as trivial as lodging, especially when taking up residence in a First Order ship was never in one’s list. But Rey had to know where her place is in this—figuratively and literally.

“With me,” Ben finally replies. His head turns an inch so she could see a side of him; the one that’s both Kylo Ren and Ben Solo. “Always.”


	2. Rey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Did she make the right choice? She has to find out now while she still can.

In a more literal sense, he meant his quarters.

When she came in here before, she left it in such a state. But now it was neat again, the stark white walls and floor spotless, and his effects arranged properly. The bed sat on the far corner of the room. It was big enough to fit two people, but beside it was a long ledge-like seat. Neither looked comfortable to rest in. Rey figured she’d have to take the seat. Ben was still Supreme Leader and if anyone were to see her in his bed—

_ What would that even mean? What will it imply? _

She shook her head at the thought. It was too much to think about and now was not the time. She settled on the seat and started to drift. If Ben were to ask why she slept here (which is not something she’d expect—or should she?) she’ll simply say that she didn’t mind. After all, she’s slept in less ideal places before. Sleep was automatic and as soon as she closed her eyes, she was temporarily at peace.

But even in dreams, she was conflicted. Voices taunted her, probing at her well-suppressed demons. The monsters are coming out now. 

_ I’m no one.  _

_ No! Don’t leave me! _

_ You’re no one.  _

_ Your parents sold you off for drinking money.  _

_ Show me my parents.  _

_ Who are you? _

_ They were nobody.  _

_ You’re nothing.  _

_ NO! _

_ Sith.  _

_ I’m no one.  _

_ Jedi.  _

_ You’re nothing.  _

_ Let it all die.  _

_ You’re nothing— _

And amidst these voices, silencing it all, came one she’s never heard before. 

_ “My Empress.” _

A chill ran through her bones, shaking her soul in fear. 

_ “We shall meet very soon.” _

Rey wanted to scream, but she was hardly awake. She was just—aware. Her body wouldn’t move, frozen in its position. It wouldn’t heed her command. She was trapped. 

_ You’re nothing— _

_ Please stop,  _ she begged. 

_ —but not to me.  _

_ Please.  _

When she could finally open her eyes, he was there. Strong hands carried her body, her head pressed against his chest and her legs dangling off his arms. There was a childlike sensation in being held like this. Sooner than she’d like, he lays her down. The bed was soft but cold. 

Rey shivered. 

“I’m here,” he whispers, his fingers barely touching her skin now as he pulls the covers over her small form. But she could feel his warmth at the tip of her hands. 

She holds out for him and as soon as she felt his hand grip hers, she pulls at his shirt desperately. Ben nearly loses his balance but recovers just in time before they could bump heads. Their faces were so close, their breathing nearly rhythmically attuned to each other. 

“Ben.” Rey can only stare at his lips as she was too afraid to look into his eyes and see what she hoped she would see to be proven false. The need to be close was so strong, so urgent. 

The nightmares were one thing, but to feel as if she’s stranded back on Jakku was another. She wouldn’t be able to bear that feeling of loneliness again, not after this. Not after him. 

She pleaded, “Don’t leave—” 

But he doesn’t let her finish. Ben swoops in and closes the mere inches between them. 

“Never,” he murmurs against her lips. “I’m here,” he says again. “I’ll always be here.”

If this was a dream, she didn’t mind. His promise rings true no matter which world she finds herself in. It’s the same one she silently vows to him. 

This time when sleep came for her, the voices were far and mute. She was safe. She  _ felt  _ safe, and more at ease than she’s ever been. 

Tomorrow is another story and whatever awaits them would be twice as difficult as leaving the Resistance behind, and ten times more than betraying the family she’s found amongst her friends. But now, she had tonight. And with Ben by her side, keeping her close and safely tucked into the crook of his body, she had everything she needed to face what’s ahead. 

  
  


“Again.” Ben was standing on the opposite side of the room. His stance was pretty menacing, very reminiscent of the one from the snowy forest. “You have to control your worst impulses, Rey,” he tells her as he wields his lightsaber with a dramatic flair. 

“I’m trying!” She almost growls. “I’m sorry.”

“That’s alright. Just focus on me.” He comes at her again but almost immediately, they flip roles. 

Rey is on the offensive while Ben tries to deflect her strikes. 

“Too much heat,” he mutters. “Good for combat. But I can still sense your unease.”

She sighed heavily, taking a step back from him. “I’m scared...if all this fails…”

“I know,” and he sighs too. “But we can’t get ahead of ourselves. Not in that way.” He resumes his position. “Again. This time, don’t hesitate.”

They train for what seems like days. The incident—where she uses Force Lightning—can’t happen again unless it was to her advantage. She understood that this was the goal they were trying to reach. They have to be cunning but they also have to move at calculated risks. There was too much at stake. 

The Emperor is their most dangerous adversary now.

“You’re pulling back!” He tells her as she misses her footing. “You can’t be like this when the moment comes.”

Rey groans, annoyed. “I’m doing precisely what you asked me!”

“Your body’s here but your mind is someplace else!” Ben takes a step closer to her, his eyes holding hers in place. “Just focus on me.”

She doesn’t know what takes over her, or maybe she does, but this time she snaps. “Who  _ are  _ you?” Rey couldn’t deny that this was what bothered her the most. 

She agreed to take his hand, knowing he could help her defeat Palpatine...and maybe even the darkness inside her. But she also knew that he wanted to turn her to the Dark Side. His plan was to rule the galaxy, side by side. It puzzled her more now. 

Was she influenced? Did Kylo Ren finally win? 

Or is it simpler than that?

Was this what she really wanted, deep down?

“You know who I am,” he says.

To this, she shakes her head. “I know Ben Solo. But I also know that it was Kylo Ren that outstretched his hand to me. Who are you now?”

There was a hint of a smile on his lips, one that could easily be a ghost of the person he is. It was almost as if he’d caught her. 

“Does it matter?” He asks.

“Yes,” she replies without a second’s hesitation. “I’m still unsure of what I have to be, or  _ where _ . What I’m fighting for now can be something entirely different from what you are.” 

_ I need to know _ , she thought.  _ I need to know I made the right choice. _

He turns off his saber then and stalks towards her in precise steps. She copies him but stands still. Ben stops in front of her, just a foot apart, and looks down at her the way he’s done in the past couple of days. With pure intent and purpose. It was as if he was memorizing every inch of her face. 

“I am a part of you, as you are of me. Two halves of a whole. The same way that...Ben Solo and Kylo Ren are two parts of me. My past and my present. My death and my resurrection.” For a brief moment, he pauses. But then he holds her face carefully, tilting it up to hold her gaze. “You know who you are and what you’re not. And I’ve told you who you are to me. But there’s so much more that you can be, Rey. To see that through--that’s what I’m fighting for.”

The thought was immediate. He was telling the truth. He never did lie to her. Maybe he never could. But all the while, as she considered his answer, her heart pounded at his confession. 

_ He’s fighting for me _ .

It may be selfish for her to want that too, and for his motivations to revolve around them alone is equally self-serving. But at the very least, it wasn’t completely destructive. If someone had asked her over a year ago what she thought Kylo Ren’s intentions are, this would never make it to any list. She’d have thought he wanted to demolish everything in his path; to let it all burn. But despite his methods, his goal was nearly the same as hers. 

It was to find someone worth fighting for, to feel less alone. To take control of your destiny. 

“Killing Palpatine is the only way I can get that in peace.” The viciousness was back, but his sincerity remained. 

She recognized them both. How he’s transformed in the last year...

“Will you be ready for it?” He asks now, waiting. 

Rey ignites the lightsaber in her hands. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really thankful for the nice comments on the first chapter. We'll get through this very dark and incomprehensible time. Together.


	3. Ben

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A man with a plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is just a little glimpse of what's going on in Ben's point of view.

She still took his hand, despite him being the person she hated. 

_ A monster _ , he recalls. 

Perhaps it was the inner turmoil that convinced her otherwise. The conflict within him had subsided but not completely, and it served him well now. 

He needed her. In every way he could ever need another person. It almost shattered him to pieces when she’d closed the door on him after the battle on Crait, and each time she refused him made him question the steps he was taking in fulfilling his destiny. But he can’t help feeling grateful, almost. He found her. 

Across this vast universe, he found her. 

Now she needed him in return. Something inside her snapped open. He could feel it. It’s a festering wound that has never been healed. It reminded him too much of his own. He knows what he needs to do, and with her by his side, he finally has the strength to do it. 

He’ll have to bury them all. For her, he will. The past cannot be the thing that defines them. Their blood should be inconsequential to who they could be. No more Skywalkers. No more Palpatines. No more Sith or Jedi. Everything has to go so they can build it anew. 

And the first thing he needs to sort out is Hux. 

General Pryde had reported to him that Hux has been discovered as a traitor. As Supreme Leader, he couldn’t help but be impressed--more at General Pryde for finding out, but mostly at Hux for being so compliant. It had been a long time since Ben used the old Jedi mind trick. 

Tied on a post with his hands and feet bound, hidden in the deeper mechanisms of the Finalizer, was the ginger-haired general. The hole in his shirt was undoubtedly from the blaster and Ben couldn’t be more relieved that he had him wear something more appropriate beneath his uniform. Blast vests were useless against energy-based weapons, Ben knew. So he had something better made. There were only a few prototypes and apparently, the one Hux was wearing now works efficiently.

When the general came to, he seemed confused. 

“Ren…”

“Glad you’re alive, General,” he replies. 

“What is this? Why am I tied down?”

Ben considered what to tell him. “Don’t you remember?”

“No!” Hux struggled hard against his binds but it was no use. “There must be some mistake!”

“I hardly think committing treason is easily confused with something else.”

“Treason?” His lower lip quivered, the thought of being associated with it obviously upsetting him. The general switched tactics immediately, trying to appease him. “Supreme Leader, I--”

“Don’t worry,” and Ben couldn’t help but feel smug. “I believe you.”

That’s when Hux stopped. For a moment, they just stared at each other until Ben could see it slowly clicking into place in Hux’s mind.

“You traitor!”

“All in due time, General,” he murmurs. “For now, you’ll do.” 

Ben concentrated his energy and watched as Hux calmed down to patiently listen for the rest of his instructions. His plan has to work. They didn’t have much time. Palpatine would want him back on Exegol to report on his mission. Unlike Snoke, Ben knew that the moment he steps on the dead planet, Palpatine would sense the change in him. 

He’ll know he’s already betrayed him. 

“Will that be all, Supreme Leader?”

Ben sighed heavily. This will be the last time he’ll use Hux to do his bidding, he promised. The rabid cur may not be so lucky next time he meets the end of another blaster. 

“Yes. That will be all, Hux.” 

**___**

When Ben returned to his quarters, Rey was already sleeping.

How long has it been since she’s slept properly? The year has been unkind to them both. They’ve struggled to keep their demons at bay, and to be so distant from each other didn’t help at all. 

He was more than relieved to see her resting at least. On his bed. The rise and fall of her chest as she’s curled into a tiny ball was more than an indication that no nightmares would visit her this time. She was safe. 

But Ben has to leave soon. To appease and overthrow the Emperor, he has to create some sort of diversion to make the slightest cover of his true intention and to make sure that Rey doesn’t take the crossfire. He pulls out a scroll, aged with the time it’s been unused, and his old brush and ink. 

Looking down at it felt surreal. He never thought he’ll use these tools again, things that belonged to Ben Solo. But then again, he also never imagined that Rey was real. Soulmates were a difficult thing to wrap your head around if it was happening to you. It was singularly the best and most terrifying idea to behold. 

As soon as he finished, he left the letter where she could plainly see it and took one last look at her before departing. 

_ It will all be over soon _ , he promised, not only to Rey but also to himself. This chaos will fall mute and order will reign with them at the helm. They will bring balance. And they’ll finally be safe and untouched. 

_ It has to. _

**___**

Everyone in the hangar came to attention the second they stepped in.

And then they resumed their duties once he waved them away. The helmet was heavier than he anticipated now that he thinks about it, and everything felt constricted. 

No one questioned where he was going or why there was only one stormtrooper to accompany him. They didn’t even question why he was using a different transport. It was all too easy. 

The ramp retracts from behind them and the door slams shut. 

“Remember,” he said. “You went to Exegol and asked the Emperor to advance the attack on the remaining Resistance fleet. And that you killed the stormtrooper you were with because...he annoyed you.”

“I went to Exegol and asked the Emperor to advance the attack on the remaining Resistance fleet…” The voice was masked but maybe it was because he’s never heard his own voice repeated back to him that it wasn’t entirely convincing him that this was a good idea. 

_ Too late now, _ he thought. He piloted the aircraft and hoped that the person he was looking for was still on Pasaana. If Ben was being honest, he really doesn’t know why he was seeking his father’s old friend in a time like this. But there was something that unsettled him deeply.

He feared for the worst. 

_ Still too late _ , he thought again before going into lightspeed. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you know, I'm basing this story on what happened with the movie. Or at least just parts of it. We're all trying to make sense of the story and this is my way of filling in the blanks or what could've been done to make it work.


	4. Rey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey's fear in the flesh: Ben Solo back in the mask.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm writing so slow but it took a while to plot out and take the scenes I wanted from the trailer and the movie to make sense. Hopefully, I get to post another one in a few hours. Happy reading!

There is a place in the whole galaxy where she belonged.

Lush green grass covered the earth, and creatures with wings would sing tunes in the morning. The air would be cool and clean; without dust or sand. Rushing water could be heard faintly in the distance. The sun will be bright but not harsh. Clouds would dot the sky with funny shapes. And at night, the stars would wake and glitter across the dark sky. Its three moons will glisten in different phases yet they would glow in the same brightness.

There is a place in the whole galaxy where she would feel peace. It would be home. And he would be there with her.

Rey stretches her arms, folding them behind her head, fully content. She would never be alone again. 

But then she wakes up to an empty room, his presence unfounded and distant. 

“Ben?”

There was no reply, not even through their Force bond. 

She tries again but to no avail.

Then there was a voice. Masked. Haunted. 

Kylo Ren. 

“Ben Solo is gone.”

She turns to find him standing rigidly behind her. The room had turned into a vicious scene with broken viewing panels and bodies strewn across the floor. Rey backed away from him, feeling her balance failing. 

“Ben—”

There was a laugh. Not his, but hers. The woman appears beside him, seemingly out of nowhere. Her face was shrouded in mystery and yet she already knew what it looked like. It frightened her—the knowing, the full confidence of knowing—and how real it all was. 

The woman moves towards her and she steps back into oblivion. 

Just before she falls, Rey sees the red saber come for her and the feeling of hopelessness washing over her like a fever. 

The ground comes up to meet her, plain and white and clean, and she startles awake. There was a mess around her, the aftermath of her struggling to get out of reach from the woman’s deadly weapon. She takes pause but, afraid of what she might see behind her, she grabs her own lightsaber and gets away from the room. She was certain that the droids would clean up after her as they always do.

For now, she needs to unleash her fury. Better yet, she needs to dissolve her fear. 

**___**

The training room is filled this time. 

Seeing stormtroopers without their helmets takes her out for a moment; the unsettling feeling in her stomach unleashing a thousand butterflies. She doesn’t know when she stopped looking at them as humans. But that effect has worn off. Inch by inch, the day she found out that Finn was one, all of the illusions started to slip. Now this has been unveiled and the first thing she thinks is:

_ How many of these men have I killed? _

It’s true that Rey hasn’t been in the fight long enough to have completely decimated half of the First Order army. But for a normal citizen, it was enough. 

_ Normal was out of the question anyway _ , she thought. As a child, she was sold to be one of Palpatine’s children. Her faintest memory is in the form of an older sibling, maybe two, who--thank the Maker--helped her escape, leading her to Jakku. There she fended for herself for years, learning skills and battling against the need to dissolve into the sands. She had faced hunger and intense heat. Above all, she endured loneliness.

All the parts of her that should’ve been in place to figure out her identity was replaced by the ones she made herself. She was Nobody. And then she wasn’t. She was Rey of Jakku; strong with the Force, trained by Luke Skywalker and Leia Organa, rebel and Jedi.

_ Traitor _ , a voice whispered.  _ All of that is gone now.  _

She shuddered.

The voice was insistent. 

_ You are Rey Nobody. _

And it wouldn’t leave her alone.

_ Nobody once again. _

She was starting to lose grip of her reality again. Rey began to question if this too was a dream--a horrible, horrible dream she’s trapped herself in. All of the stormtroopers seemed to have read her mind, staring at her and waiting if she’d break.

“Has the rebel scum lost her tongue?” One sneers and they all laugh.

She groans. Her hand immediately ignites her lightsaber, staring down at anyone who looked at her funny. She didn’t say anything. Maybe she has lost her tongue. But the challenge was there just the same.

_ Dare me _ , it says. Her stance was glorious, intimidating. It should remind them that she stands by their Supreme Leader, Kylo Ren, and that she is connected to him. Whatever he is, she is too. Whatever he can, she can too--maybe even better. 

No one stepped forward. Cowards, the lot of them.

She turns it off, triumphant. 

_ That should remind them _ , she thought. And immediately the shame overwhelms her, bringing her spirits down. 

What was she doing, looking for a fight? She needed to get away from her fury, not towards it. Her fear was eating away at her and they were too many now. 

She feared that Ben Solo will betray her.

She feared her growing power in the dark, the lure of it.

She feared being another nobody that no one will ever remember.

Except for the traitor that she is.

She feared the Resistance, and Leia. No, she feared their distrust and she had every right to be.

She feared...the Emperor. Of what he could do. Of what he was probably doing now. 

He’s stoking her conflicted soul, the same way Snoke did Ben. She could feel him in the far recesses of her mind, lurking in the shadows of her doubts. The nightmares were alive and never before have they had such sharp claws. 

“Do you have what it takes?” 

Rey whirls around to find him--back in the mask. 

Kylo Ren stood in the entrance.

She takes a deep breath, the echo of her dream haunting her awake. But just like that, the rage is back. This is what she was afraid of. This was fear personified. Every shadow of doubt grew into its figure, solid and clear, and it was standing a hundred yards from her now.

For the second time in under five minutes, Rey ignites her saber. 

“We’ll see.”


	5. Ben

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They were silent for a while and he didn’t want to look up because he didn’t want to see a blaster pointed at him.   
> Finally, the man speaks again. This time, Ben can’t tell what he was feeling from his voice. 
> 
> “What are you doing here, kid?”

It has only been a few days since he’s been to Pasaana but so much has already changed.

He was half the man he thought he was; and even less of who he’s been. And yet the same mistakes were there, the burden of the same sins. He has murdered twice as many people as the average person, but not to the extent of killing thousands or planets like Hux or his more devious superiors. Now more than ever, he dwindled in the plane between.

What was he? 

More importantly, who  _ is _ he?

To Rey, he is Ben Solo. To the galaxy, he is Kylo Ren. But to him...that was one that has yet to be determined. 

What he was sure of was that the girl who had frequented his dreams far longer than he can ever admit was finally here. The dyad is complete. The strength of its pull lured him further to her and he couldn’t be more grateful that it did, no matter the cost or consequence. Sometimes, he thinks this is why the temptation of the light was unbearable. Who could ever resist such a sunny smile? 

Rey was Light incarnate. 

_ And I, the Darkness _ , he thought.

Ben sighed heavily at that. There were still a thousand steps to take, and he wasn’t even sure if he was ready to take them. But to be here, looking for a certain person in Pasaana, meant what he’s always been this whole time: an in between.

“Return to the base and do as I instructed,” he tells Hux. “And don’t let anyone question your decisions so long as you wear my mask.”

_ I can’t have you endangering Rey _ .

Leaving her behind was a huge risk. Not to mention stupid. But he likes to think that he still has some semblance of control in the Order. She was his guest. To harm her would be treason...he hoped. This has to be quick. 

When his only available transport finally lifted off the ground, he wondered if his plan would even work now that he’s stranded in a desert planet. Then again, he’s never thought of anything as much as he did with getting this done. Getting back to Rey should be enough of a motivation to finish what he started. 

“Here goes nothing.”

Ben set off in the direction he picked up the code last. It wasn’t much of a reliable source but his tracking device was the most updated in the galaxy. He  _ had to _ rely on it. If that doesn’t work, he’ll resort to more natural uses. The Force has always been a fickle thing, but it does connect everyone. Somehow, he’ll find a way to get to him. And quickly, before his and Rey’s time is up. 

But as time went on and the heat began to get to him, Ben started to feel foolish. This was the sort of thing hope will always get you in for: trouble. Despair. Doubt. By the end of it all, he still can’t believe he’s gotten himself this far and this stupid to even try. If anything happens to Rey while he’s out here in the midst of his idiocy--

Shaking with anger and parched, he takes off the stormtrooper helmet and tosses it aside. 

_ How can anyone breathe in that thing?  _ He demanded inwardly, annoyed while also finding newfound respect for his foot soldiers. 

He discards most of the protective gear, leaving him with his sweater, his pants and the only pair of boots he has. The leather was slowly cracking up against the heat and he could tell because he could feel the sand sliding in the soles.

“Great!” He growled, kicking at the sand. “Sand! Sand everywhere!” 

Ben has never felt like a petulant child as much as he did then. For the first time in years, he was setting off on what could lead him to something he actually wanted but like always, the entire universe is against him. 

“I should’ve asked for the odds,” he thought aloud, and as if things couldn’t get any worse, he mistakenly stepped into quicksand. He panicked. 

Again, it was another mistake. 

There was nothing to hold on to and before he could fully take in his surroundings, he was already waist-deep in the kriffing sands. He couldn’t force himself to jump off it, not with the sands and his strength against him. This was him literally drowning, but worse. So much worse.

“Hang on, kid!” A familiar voice calls out.

His head is swallowed him and his mouth is filled with hot sand, but his hands were still pretty useful. There was something firm that crept within his reach and he grabbed it desperately and purposefully. He can’t die this way, not when it means he’ll have the girl wait again for someone who will never come back to her. He’s seen too much of her pain and how it mirrored his own. No one should ever be that lonely. 

It was her eyes that he sees first when he resurfaced again. 

“Ben!” 

But it wasn’t her voice that welcomed him with surprise, or wary.

“Ben?” It says again, this time more incredulous.

Shaking off the sand from his hair and his face, he backs away to give the man some space. Or maybe it was for him, he can’t tell.

They were silent for a while and he didn’t want to look up because he didn’t want to see a blaster pointed at him. 

Finally, the man speaks again. This time, Ben can’t tell what he was feeling from his voice. “What are you doing here, kid?”

_ Kid _ , he nearly scoffed. But then it saddened him. How similar the two of them talk…

“I was looking for you,” he admitted. 

“Me?” Genuine surprise. That was good.

Ben gathered up the courage to look up. But his Uncle Lando wasn’t holding up a weapon of any kind.

_ Stupid _ , he considered.  _ Or brave.  _

There was a blaster on his holster though, just like his father always did. 

He had to be quick. “I know I’m beyond saving,” he says. “I killed your friend.”

“Your father,” Lando corrected firmly. “He was your father, Ben.”

He winced at that. But he can’t be distracted. “But I...I need you to do something for me.”

“That’s a bold move, kid.”

“It’s not  _ for _ me, not really,” he confessed. “Or maybe it is.”

Lando pursed his lips but nodded for him to continue. Ben couldn’t believe his luck. He didn’t actually think he’d hear him out. 

“Convince my mother to leave the fight.”

The man smiled his signature smile; one that says ‘I don’t think you know me very well.’ 

“She’ll die. You know that.”

“I can’t.” Lando sighed heavily as if he really considered it for a moment. “You know your mother, Ben. I mean, you  _ should _ . She’s as stubborn as you are. She will never give up without a fight and she knows she’d rather die for a cause than run away from it.”

“She  _ will  _ die,” Ben said. “She’s weak. She won’t be able to take anymore.”

“Then why don’t  _ you  _ save her?” He retorted. “Why doesn’t the great Kylo Ren vanish and Ben Solo just come back? 

They stared at each other for a long time and it took Ben to realize that Lando was serious. “It’s too late for me.”

“No, it isn’t,” and there was almost a laugh in his voice, one that he hasn’t heard in a long, long while. “You’re here, aren’t you? Now, what could that possibly mean?”

“It means I don’t think too well on the odds, that’s what,” he muttered to himself but Lando caught it anyway.

“So did your father.”

He stayed quiet then. So much wasted time and for what? To get rejected by the only man who actually listened to you? 

He rose from the sand and looked at the person at his feet. A long time ago, he dreamt of wild adventures and near-to-death escapades told by this man. When his father wouldn’t tell him any story, Lando was the one who filled in the missing blanks. It reminded Ben of the missing part that will always be missing now and how it pained him even more to see the living proof. 

But despite the pain and regret, he had to know something. 

“Humor me.”

Lando immediately turned upwards toward him, surprised but nonetheless curious.

“Was there ever a time my parents admitted they regretted having me?”

The words that came out of Lando’s mouth was something he always heard from him as a child when Han couldn’t do it himself. It was like a promise, and Ben didn’t realize he’s forgotten about it till now. 

“If that  _ ever _ happened, I would’ve taken you myself.”

_ I would’ve taken you myself. _

Out on the Falcon, on some crazy adventure, it was going to be him and his Unca Wanwo (and maybe Chewie if they could sneak him out). 

Before Ben could say anything, he felt an odd stirring in his gut. Something was wrong. He looked upwards into the clear blue sky and saw no star except the sun. Getting out of here would be nearly impossible. He’ll have to steal a ship. 

_ Why didn’t I bring any credits?  _ He thought bitterly.

The feeling came again. But this time, it felt more like a punch.

Something was very wrong. Something was very wrong with  _ Rey.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We were robbed of many things but amongst them was the starfighter and his Unca Wanwo! I'm sorry I can't write more stuff in the scene or more about their interaction because it would feel somewhat unnatural (for me anyway). I don't want to overdo lines or conversations (or even actions) just in case it may seem OOC. I've kept it to the bare minimum and tried to cover all the bases for now. I hope you like it and I hope you're excited for the next chapter!! I'll try to quicken the pace as much as I can so we can get to the better parts of the movie we've "never" seen *wink wink*
> 
> PS I also hope writing the 'sands!' part wasn't too OOC for Ben Solo. I like to believe he's as goofy as Han anyway.


	6. The Man In The Mask

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey is getting stronger in the Dark Side of the Force.

_ Is he letting me win? _

So far, she had managed to singe the edge of his cape twice and kicked him down once. The men around her were more than unsettled. They didn’t like seeing someone like her with such power.

He had to be letting her do this to him. He hadn’t even ignited his saber. In fact, his weapon was nowhere to be seen; the holster empty. 

This enraged Rey even more. 

“Get up!” She nearly growls, staring down at him as he lay on the ground. “We’re not done yet.”

He does, and for a moment, Rey wondered if Kylo Ren had gotten shorter. This curious remark snaps her out of her anger for a bit, enough to get her distracted as he moves towards her aggressively. In a flash, she has gotten hold of him. How quickly she managed to lift him off the air, holding his neck through the Force. They could all hear him audibly choking. 

And then, he called.

_ Rey.  _

She gripped him tighter, but she couldn’t feel him at all. The struggle she was obviously hearing was somewhat blocked through the Force. It didn’t make sense. She had to reach further.

_ Focus on me. _

And she did, very hard. That’s when she realized. The person in the mask wasn’t Ben, nor was he the real Kylo Ren. This was someone else. 

“Ben.” Rey breathes out and nearly loses her balance yet she doesn’t break, not completely. 

Somewhere deep inside her was pulling away from the light.

_ Don’t hesitate _ , the inner voice mutters.  _ You’re pulling back.  _

It echoed so much of what Ben told her while they were training. She was getting more confused. Does she let go or does she hold on? 

_ Rey _ , Ben calls again.  _ You have to control it.  _

“I can’t!” She cried, desperate but unwilling to lose.

_ Your worst impulses are getting to you _ , he says.  _ Focus on me. _

_ Focus. _

_ Focus. _

Focus _. _

It all blurred together. Whose voice was speaking? Who should she listen to? She decided in a split second that it was her own that she had to rely on for now. Rey releases the imposter and as soon as his body dropped to the ground, she marched towards him and whipped at the mask with the tip of her saber.

The red streaks of the mask barely held it together after that and it cracked just enough to see the man beneath it.

“It’s the traitor!” Someone yelled and everyone pushed past her as they swarmed to take him. 

Two troopers put their helmets back on and dragged the startled General Hux out of the training room. The men began to talk but some had resumed their exercises. She had all been forgotten. All the while, Rey felt the floor drop and was awashed with panic. 

Ben wasn’t here this whole time. 

_ Where is he? _

**___**

Somewhere in the galaxy, Ben was running. 

Literally. 

Lando had granted him at least one favor and helped him steal a ship. Too many questions would be asked if he requested one from a First Order base and all could immediately fall apart. Besides, it was his idea to go incognito anyway. 

Outrunning the bastards was the difficult part. Apparently, he and Lando made a terrible choice at picking which ship to grab. One of the worst bounty hunter crews were now trailing after him. 

_ It’s a good thing this isn’t the Falcon,  _ he thought as he easily piloted the stolen aircraft. He always had trouble with that piece of junk, especially its compressor. 

Before they could fire, Ben shoots into lightspeed, hoping that Rey hasn’t done anything irreversible. 

**___**

Something was really wrong. 

Rey could feel an unknown force blocking her, like a wall had been put up. How long has that been going on?

It was as if she had tapped into a part of herself that should’ve been kept locked away…

wasn’t going to get answers here and she needed to know where Ben is right now. Only he could tell her what she could do about this troubling energy. The only solution now would be to confront the last person who had possibly seen him: the man wearing his mask. 

Rey asked a passing droid where they kept the prisoners but a trooper answered her instead. 

“I can take you to him, ma’am.”

She had never been called ma’am nor had she been recognized as a figure of authority since boarding the ship, even with the Supreme Leader at her side. Her status as a Resistance fighter remained so the trooper’s behavior confused her. But then she remembered her friend, Finn, and how he defected. Not everyone on the First Order should be considered an enemy. 

Some just failed to make a choice. 

“Thank you,” she says and follows him quickly down the corridor. “I’m Rey.”

“I know.”

She felt awkward but kept it. “And you are?”

“AD-3728.”

“What do you do?”

“Analytics Division,” he replies. “I guard it.”

“Oh.” She nodded. “That’s...impressive.”

He no longer spoke. Maybe he disagrees. 

When they reached the cells, almost all of it was empty. Hux was the one at the far end. 

“There he is,” and he points to the arm hanging tirelessly through the bars. “Don’t get too close.”

“I won’t.” Rey stalked towards him quickly and halted just far enough from his reach. “Hux.”

“What?” 

The man was nearly slumped against the prison bars, too slack jawed to be of sound mind. He was more than distraught. He was confused. That was until his eyes narrowed at her figure in recognition. 

“ _ You _ …” 

Hux immediately forgot about his current impediment and became the general she feared. 

“Why isn’t that rebel scum in a cell?”

Rey crouched down to his level, studying him. “Where is Kylo Ren?”

His face twisted at the mention of the Supreme Leader. “How should I know? Can’t you make the slightest observation? I’m in a cell!”

“You wore his mask!”

“Even I don’t know how that happened,” Hux groaned. “That fool. Probably using his mind tricks on me.”

_ Mind tricks _ , Rey pondered on that. Was it possible that Ben was using the old Jedi mind trick?

She can do that too. She almost sorry for Hux.  _ Almost.  _

_ It’s not going to hurt anyway, _ she thought and went through with it. 

“You will tell me everything Ben Solo made you do.”

In a tone mimicking her own, Hux replies. “I don’t recall anything.”

_ Kriff.  _ Rey knew that this would most likely be the case. But she had a countermeasure. Or at least she hopes she does. 

“Remember what it was, Hux.” And very calmly, she adds. “Think carefully.”

The moment she unleashed the depth of Ben’s influence was the same moment everything started to fall apart. Hux began to relay every detail of his elusive superior’s plan, and it wasn’t at all what Rey expected.

_ Ben is the spy _ , she confirms but unfortunately, so did Hux. 

“He had been feeding rebels information through me,” and she could feel him struggling inwardly. Of all the devious things this man is, he was most loyal to the First Order. It was a cause he believed in, however cruel and twisted they may be. To betray them was not only treason to the group but to himself. 

_ What else? _

“He disguised himself as a stormtrooper while I wore his mask to get to Pasaana and back without delay. I left him there as instructed and came back to act like he would to secure his position as Supreme Leader and not draw any suspicion.”

_ Well, that failed _ , she thought. And it was partly (if not entirely) her fault. Rey sighed.

“What else?”

“He told me to look after you.”

She took that in but only for a second. If the plan was to make sure Kylo Ren was here while Ben Solo is out there, and that has surely failed, it could only mean one thing: the First Order will figure it out soon. And they were running out of time. 

Hux scoffs, the vile hatred of a man resurfacing now. “I’ve known he was weak from the moment I met him, but this is a new low, don’t you think? What does he think I am? A nanny?”

Rey only rolled her eyes. 

“Oi! And where’s Millicent?”

_ “ _ When is he coming back?” She demanded, ignoring him.

To that, Hux smirked. “The question, stupid girl, is  _ how _ . I’ve taken the transport back. There’s no way out of that planet.” He grinned wider as he sees her panic and wide-eyed, the realization hitting her now. “Face it. He’s abandoned you.”

“No.”

“He’s abandoned you on a  _ First Order  _ ship. Why do you think that is? With him gone, our focus will be on  _ you _ . You’re the consolation prize. Meanwhile, he’s out there gallivanting--and with the Resistance, too, I’ve no doubt. His mother would be ecstatic to have him back.” 

_ Lies. _

For the second time today, she considers choking him (and she almost does) but she needs to control herself just as Ben said. She can’t give in to madness and hate and anger. 

“What’s that?” Hux demanded, leaning towards her. “Is that the sound of troopers coming to arrest you?”

Rey listened in and true enough, there are more than a dozen pair of stomping feet nearing the corridor. She didn’t want to believe it but was it possible she had been betrayed?

She can’t stay here to find out. As she gets up to leave, Hux yells. 

“I will come for you and that wretched traitor when I get out! Supreme Leader Snoke  _ will _ be avenged!”

“We’ll see.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know how to name stormtroopers AT ALL so don't come for my throat. Also, there's a specific reason why I chose those two initials *wink wink* not very hard to figure out but I leave it up to you. Anyway! I'll try to write the pacing quicker so you won't get bored. 
> 
> Let me know your thoughts below!


	7. Death in Two Parts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Did Ben arrive too late?

The hangar was empty when Ben Solo arrived. 

All he could think about on the way over was Rey, and therefore any reason or excuse he should’ve come up with as to why he was using an unofficial transport was simply forgotten. 

Needless to say, he really should’ve thought about it. 

The eerie quiet made him stop in his tracks; his breathing harsh and loud occupying most of it. If something was wrong then, something was definitely wrong now. 

No man, droid, or trooper littered the once busy floor. Even the sound of the machines seemed mute as if it was afraid that if it made a sound, it would disrupt the whole operation.

For a while, Ben wasn’t sure what to make of it or how he should act. Still, he had a girl to find—a girl who could be deep enough in the darkness that she’s no longer the person she was before. 

_ And what’s wrong with that?  _ A voice whispered in his subconscious.  _ Isn’t this what you wanted? _

He pondered on it and a scene flashes before his eyes. 

_ I want you to join me.  _ His words echoed to him like a broken tune. And he meant it. But Ben didn’t really know  _ what _ that meant or what he wanted, just that she was meant to be by his side. His equal. His light. 

_ My Light.  _

She took his hand all the same and that fact remains to be true today. He can’t lose her now, not when she chose him too.

Unfortunately for him, his time had just run out.

“There you are, Ren.”

The sheer confidence and arrogance dripping maliciously from his voice was enough to snap Ben out of his reverie. General Armitage Hux was back in his glory, standing tall in front of a small army of troopers. His eyes gleamed with mischief and pride. 

“We’ve been waiting for you.”

  
  


Not that it mattered, but his appearance--hands bound, hair disheveled, not to mention his clothes--seemed more out of place than ever before.

If his cape and his mask were anything to go by, this man being herded to his possible execution is not Kylo Ren. But Hux’s sneer says otherwise. To the ambitious general, he had finally cleared the biggest meteor in his route. 

“I have to say,” Hux begins. “It took them a little convincing. You  _ were _ the Supreme Leader, and I could be saying it to save my skin. But I  _ know _ things, Ren. Little things that finally made sense...and the girl proved it all to be true.” 

In a flash, his hands were immediately on Hux’s throat. He didn’t need the Force to do it this time. Ben will personally see to it that Hux meets his end if he ever lays a finger on Rey. 

“Where is she?”

Unlike the many times Hux had succumbed to him, the red-haired twig just winced until he let out a sound that was almost a laugh.

“You’ll never get to her. I made sure of that.”

Troopers pulled him back and Hux cleared his throat, fixing himself up. 

“Now, if you’re done with your dramatics, the council is ready to sentence you.”

He was honestly surprised they didn’t execute him right there and then. But perhaps being the Supreme Leader called for different conducts. And not that they’re likely to forget, but he  _ could _ fight his way out of here. He’d faced worse odds. 

Or maybe not.

The room was unlike anything he’d ever seen, and this was  _ his _ ship. Hux must’ve built this behind his back; a personal torture chamber for when the time comes.

_ My time _ , Ben thought grimly.

“Where’s my cat?” Hux barked at a nearby officer. “Get Millie! She’s gonna want to be here for this.”

General Pryde along with a handful of the council members enters from another door, their faces like stone and their expressions unreadable. Ben felt their frustration. They certainly didn’t like Hux being alive, much less back in the First Order. The old general hated him the most. Hux was undeniably at the front of things. Under Snoke’s leadership, he was the top general, a right-hand man. But with Kylo Ren’s reign, Pryde was able to outshine Hux and Ben admits it was all for pettiness. Well, that and because he was being cautious. Hux was a viper. Ben could choke the life out of him and could overpower him physically, but it was undeniable that the ginger-haired general was cold-blooded and calculating, armed with skills fitting for a First Order leader. 

They’ve underestimated him long enough. 

“I see you’ve captured the traitor,” General Pryde muses, his mouth in a grim line.

“I told you he’d be back,” Hux replies. “He’ll return for the girl.”

“And where is she?” 

Ben glared at Hux, waiting for him to respond to Pryde’s question.

“Indisposed,” he simple says. “I wouldn’t worry about her. She’s probably with the Emperor now.”

His heart thumped against his chest violently. The thought of Rey alone with Palpatine was making him lightheaded. 

“Are his bonds secure?” Pryde demanded, noticing Ben fumbling with it. 

“For now,” Hux assured him. “And as much as I want to savor this moment, we must be quick with it. We don’t want such a traitorous bastard get away now, do we?”

General Pryde nods at that and stares at Ben with narrowed eyes. “You were proven to be guilty of treason of the highest order. You were proven to have used your commanding general to pass information to the enemy--”

“--for a  _ year _ \--” Hux interjects rudely.

Pryde takes pause, annoyed, but continues. “--yes, for a year. And you murdered your predecessor.”

He shouldn’t have been surprised that Hux was snooping. But he was. He honestly thought he would be able to get away with it. No one else was in that room. Except Rey. 

_ She wouldn’t disclose that information with Hux of all people _ , he thought and he was right. Hux had other means, more technical ones that he probably overlooked. The rabid cur wins again. 

“I don’t think he denies it, General.” Hux smirks just as he’s handed his cat. He pets it with the most satisfied grin. “Shall we proceed?”

There was a moment of hesitation. With Kylo Ren dead, it would then be a matter of choosing a leader, and Hux has more than built his case on proving himself to be a worthy successor. But the other members of the First Order Command, silent as corpses, were less troubled by it than Pryde. Hux, though an underling for both Supreme Leaders, was more than capable of commanding the First Order. After all, he had been the one to give the order to destroy the Hosnian system amongst other victories. 

As soon as General Pryde and the others agreed, Ben readied himself. It would either be the blaster or something painfully worse. Knowing Hux and his hatred for him, he knew it was more likely that dying by blaster is out of the question. This would be quick but excruciating. 

_ Rey _ .

There was no response.

_ Rey, if you could hear me, please. _

“Execute.”

  
  


Death had always been a constant thing.

But throughout his life, Ben had faced his death every day since his uncle, Luke, ignited his saber on him. He had to kill the boy to build the man--to survive. To escape. 

Kylo Ren was created because death was the only mercy he could grant Ben Solo from a life less lived. He was the bad seed and all he thought he could do then was fulfill that destiny. 

His death not only meant the death of a child, but the death of a family. Luke disappeared. Han, too. And Leia returned to the one thing she knew she could do: fight. Worse, it felt like the decay of hope for them. 

He turned Dark and quite powerful at that. The balance was disrupted and the Force had to find someone that could bring it back. 

Death had always been a quiet word.

For Rey, she wouldn’t let death take her. She was a flower that grew against harsh conditions and flourished. She fought--hard--until death was tired of trying and rested. But she didn’t. 

She  _ couldn’t _ rest, knowing the answers that held her identity. Rey was the one link to her past; a name she could hold on to as if this was enough proof that her family wouldn’t abandon her like that. No one should abandon anyone like that. 

And yet no one screamed her name when she disappeared, or when she was  _ lost _ . Her name had been as quiet as death. 

For him, he was beyond saving...until her.

For her, everything began because of him.

His choice to reject the light awoken hers. 

And her call reflected the darkness in him.

They were two parts of a powerful Force connection; one that could finally bring the most awaited balance in the universe. It would transcend time and space and meaning. Accepting both light and dark,  _ being _ both light and dark, will grant the order and peace they both craved. Rest. Not in death, but in the Force.

They can’t give out hope now. 

They can’t give up now.

**____**

When they busted through the doors, Rose expected a hundred prisoners ready to be executed.

Instead, she sees a man with his head down and his hands bound. She takes no more than a second to fire at the ones holding and barely misses. Her eyes follow well-dressed officials retreating to another door, the one at the far end to familiar not to shoot at. His ginger hair was enough of a target.

She shoots but misses, the tip of combed head singed with a blaster bolt. The rest of her company shoots tranquilliser bolts at the remaining troopers, easily dodging their bad aims. Her one priority though is the prisoner.

As soon as his head turns however, she stops. 

So did most of the Resistance fighters.

_ Why would  _ he _ be executed?  _ She wondered, but Rose had a pretty good guess. 

“I don’t think that’s such a good idea, Rose,” Kaydel tells her, the blaster in her holster unused. 

But the rebel was a rebel for a reason. She smiled reassuringly, and looked up at the tall man who was looking down at her with the most curious expression. 

“Trust me,” she says. “I have a good feeling about this.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you've guessed (or maybe not), this is the first part. Since they *are* a dyad *wink wink* Rey's "death" part is next. I'm mostly excited about that because in previous fics I've made, I find writing the darkness in Rey to be so compelling. Whether or not that is how it comes across to (my) readers, I just really enjoy it. 
> 
> Also, the scene at the end didn't really come to me until I was writing it. Rose is such an important role to play and for them to discard her like that was infuriating. I'll make sure to write more of her and the "important base stuff" that should've been shown in the film. This isn't really how I planned on making them interact but that's how I'm writing them right now. Trust me, there will be more to come.


	8. A Dark Reflection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey goes in search of a deadly answer.

The cockpit was smaller than she thought but it still gave her enough room.

Rey began to wonder how Ben even fit in this thing.

The TIE Silencer ran smoothly and though the stick was heavier than what she was used to, she kind of liked how easily she could fly it. The thing was fast too— 

_But not as fast as the Falcon_ , she thought. For a time, she wasn’t exactly sure where she was headed, only that she had to put as much distance from the First Order as she could. It was already a miracle that she got away without anyone trailing after her. There’s only so much luck in the universe. 

_ Where are you, Ben? _ She wondered, reaching out to him, but there was still no response. 

Rey began to wonder if Hux could be right. 

_ Did you abandon me and shut me out? _

The thought angered her, but somewhere deep inside her she knew he wouldn’t do that. She won’t let herself believe it. 

Her mind wandered aimlessly and it seemed to have done the trick. Soon, Rey found herself nearing Ahch-To. The island stood adamantly in the midst of the violent waves; the sun just barely setting. 

As she landed the aircraft, dozen of porgs flew off but some remained. Rey got out quickly, keeping her saber close. 

The silence that followed hollowed her out. Intense loneliness had overcome her. She was alone. She was completely and undeniably alone. 

Rey stayed in Luke’s hut. When night crawled in, rain began to pour. The cold was unbearable, especially with her clothes made out of thin fabric. She began to rummage through an old trunk, hoping to find something thicker to wear. But none of Luke’s clothes were there. In fact, they weren’t Luke’s things at all. 

Drawings—children’s drawings—filled it along with a few more parchment with neatly handwritten notes. Quills and empty ink bottles were scattered about. They all seemed useless. 

_ Why would Luke keep these? _

She hardly thought he was someone who held onto things, not after throwing his own saber away. 

There were other stuff in it too but there wasn’t enough light to properly inspect them. Soon, her hands touched something soft at the bottom and she pulls it out. True enough, it was clothing—the expensive kind. The material was soft and thick, and would surely give off enough warmth. It was maybe dark blue or brown…

_ An apprentice’s uniform, _ she thought. And as she slipped into them, there was a sort of familiarity overcoming her. 

His smell. It was faint, but it was his just the same. Rey recognizes it after spending weeks in his quarters, sleeping next to him. 

His frame was still bigger than hers, even though she guessed he was probably in his late teens at the time he wore this. She looked for the bottom pair and successfully found it. She pulled those on too. 

When she laid on the bed, in young Ben Solo’s clothes, Rey felt some sort of comfort. But even as she closed her eyes, tired from the day’s journey, she knew that this would not keep the nightmares at bay. 

  
  


_ Rey.  _

Ben. 

_ Rey, if you could hear me, please. _

Ben!

_ Execute.  _

“No!” She gasped, clutching at her own neck. Rey was at a loss. His death felt so real. 

It can’t be. He couldn’t be dead. 

_ That’s why he hasn’t been able to answer you.  _

“No,” she cried and the wave of sobs that followed rocked her so much, her body strained against the act. “Ben…”

_ If he’s not dead now, he will be.  _

The voice was back; the voice that has always been there. 

_ And it will be on your hands.  _

“No!” The guttural scream that came out of her was unnatural and lightning crackling in the sky echoed it with the most ferocious sound. 

A sharp pain struck Rey’s heart. She won’t be able to take any more losses. 

In her anguish and fear, she marched outside and trudged through the storm. She knows the way. She had headed there once before. The waves were deafening; the winds icy cold. The cave was calling...or rather,  _ she _ was calling  _ it.  _

Rey surrenders to it completely and drops. If the weather was unbearable, the waters were deadly. But Rey was more than determined. It didn’t give her any answers then, but maybe it could now. She knew who she was—or some part of a past she couldn’t remember before. That had to count for something. 

When she resurfaced, her lungs felt frozen and her breath was visible in the cold night. The mirror stood close by, unchanged and immovable. 

_ Rey,  _ it called.  _ Come to me.  _

By now, the voice became all too familiar and though she tried to fight it, she couldn’t help but oblige. She had to see. Like before, she reached out to touch the ice like stone. 

“Show me,” she whispered, her voice trembling. “Show me—”

She wanted to say his name; to see what future lies for Ben Solo. But a year ago, when they first touched hands, she already saw it. The heir to the Skywalker line will return to the light. 

_ But what of his fate after?  _

“Show me...his death.”

Rey didn’t know if it would work or what she’d be shown, not even  _ how _ . But she held out hope that as soon as it did, she’ll find a way to prevent it. Her fingers pulsated with a dark energy when she touched the mirror. At first, nothing happened.

And then came the spark--the lightning.  _ Her  _ lightning.

It filled the cave with such light that for a moment, Rey was blinded by it. The light didn’t go away but it flickered. Hues of blue filled the edges of her vision until finally, she was immersed in night; the kind of night that you can only see in the moonlight. It felt cold and eerie, but calm. 

The calmness of it all was what frightened her. 

“My child,” the voice rang out but it was as low as a whisper. “It is time.”

She was afraid to ask, but Rey found herself replying anyway. “Time for what?” 

“It is time...to fulfill your destiny.”

First came the lightning, and then the chilling laughter. And when the loudness of it all ceased and the lights began to dim again, the girl was overwhelmed with the feeling of loss. It was the same hollowness she felt earlier, when she dreamt that Ben Solo died.

Now, however, the scene was right before her eyes.

His figure was unmistakable; slumped against the cold slab of stone, his eyes barely close. A blue lightsaber was ignited within his reach but not within his hands. He no longer looked like the man that she knew--the man in the mask. He was Ben, a Skywalker and a Solo, through and through. But he was dead, and the ghostly figure kneeling by his foot is the reason why.

Rey, or at least the vision of herself, stared at nothing. Her eyes were cold and empty, unlike her hands...bleeding with the red double-bladed saber she wielded. No tears were shed, maybe not even recognition, but the defeat was evident in the way her lips quivered. She has fulfilled her destiny, and at a price.

_ You will be his undoing _ .

  
  


Rey pulled away, nearly stumbling back into the water.

When she had that vision of the throne and ruling with Kylo Ren, she was convinced that he will be her undoing; that he will be her anchor in the Dark Side. But she’s wrong. She could feel it in her bones, the way it trembles at the thought. Ben’s death will push her to the edge, and it will be her own fault all the same. To fall prey to the darkness is to bring destruction. His end and hers. The person she is now will cease to exist if the Dark Side succeeds in its claim of an empress.

Fear has never rooted itself so deeply into her till now. 

She won’t let Palpatine win. He may have his influence in Ben Solo for the longest time but not her. She’ll end him before he could sink his claws on her. She’ll finish the Sith before it could destroy everything she’s ever loved. She’ll kill him, if it meant saving herself and Ben Solo. She will. She has to. 

There was only one way now. And only one should make it out alive. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone is being so nice! *cries*   
> THANK YOU FOR READING SO SO SO MUCH! I'm always appreciative of the comments and it fills my heart. Even just you giving that heart for my work is already so amazing but to see such positive notes? I'm in the stars and way over the moon! Thank you and happy, happy new year!


	9. Born of Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben wakes up in the Resistance camp.

They’ve knocked him out unconscious, of course. 

Whether or not they were just a handful now, the secret base needed to remain hidden and the Resistance can’t take any risks—even if it is the General’s son. Well, _especially_ if it is General Organa’s son. 

When word got out that it was none other than the infamous Kylo Ren coming back from Rose’s expedition, there was inevitable panic. And curiosity. 

Leia, on the other hand, was the personification of worry. Deep within her, she still had hope that her son had come back. But on the surface, she had to be firm. She was still the face of the Resistance’s remaining leadership. Whatever punishment the people would think suitable for his crimes, she would have to do her best to carry it out. The only problem is, she doesn’t have the heart to do it. No matter what he did, despite all his sins and his crimes, whatever mistakes he’s made, the truth was stark and remains to be an absolute truth: he is her son. 

Rose stood by the interrogation tent, hoping to see Poe before he goes in. Only her, Kaydel and two others know about the situation they found the young Supreme Leader in.

 _Former_ , Rose thought to herself. _Former Supreme Leader._

Others assumed they captured him. With what, she cannot fathom. Everyone was aware of how strong a Force user he was. 

“Rose.” Poe was out of breath but he tried to hide it. “I heard what happened. Where is he?”

“Before you go in, you have to know something first.” 

His eyes weren’t on her, too anxious to pay attention. 

“Poe.”

“Rose.”

“Poe.”

“What?” Finally, he was looking directly at her. “I’m listening.”

“Kaydel and I found him already bound. The First Order was ready to execute him.”

She could see how this didn’t make any sense. The face Poe was making communicated that clearly. 

“Why would the First Order execute their leader?”

“I think...I think he defected. Maybe he went against them—” Rose was hopeful and it showed. 

Poe was skeptical. “Making them his enemy doesn’t necessarily mean we’re now his allies.”

“Why not?”

“It’s not that simple, Rose—”

“But why shouldn’t it be?”

He breathed out, exhausted. “Because people’s lives are at stake. We can’t afford to trust him, Rose. We don’t have any more room for mistakes. Not as massive as this one.”

She looked at him then, thoughtful and considerate. Her eyes still smiled though her lips was set in a firm line. 

“I know what you’re saying, I do,” Rose says. “But as impossible as it feels, the only way we can move forward is to forgive—and to trust we’re making the right decision when we do.” 

Poe wasn’t having it but Rose wasn’t backing down either. 

“We’ve all made mistakes, Poe. _Big_ ones.” 

She remembered Paige and the many times they’ve granted forgiveness on one another whenever they fought and caused pain to each other. Now the only thing she can forgive her sister for is dying, and leaving her behind. That’s how she started to heal. That’s how she believes they’ll be able to move past this. 

Rose puts a hand on his shoulder, her eyes willing him to understand her. “Just give him a chance. Think of Leia.”

“What do you think I’m doing?” 

Poe moves past her and into the tent, leaving her behind. 

He was hardly bound, but he wasn’t lashing out either. Kylo Ren has his head down, tired and beaten. Unconscious. There were several guards around, Kaydel among them, but there was one face Poe hasn’t seen yet. He wondered where Finn is. Surely he’s heard that the man who’s kidnapped their friend. He should be here. 

“He’s coming to,” Kaydel says, drawing Poe’s attention.

“Alright, people, arms up!”

  
  


Ben opened his eyes and finds six armed men, one woman, and the pilot—Poe Dameron—focused intently on him. With blasters at the ready. 

“Where is she?” It was the first thing that came to his mind. It was his sole concern for now. “Where’s Rey?”

Poe’s brows furrowed at the question, but his confusion was evidently more focused on the fact that Kylo Ren’s worry was in regards to someone else. 

“I last saw her with you,” he replies quickly. 

“She isn’t here…?”

“Huh.”

“Huh what?” This infuriated Ben. He thought being captured would at least bring him to her. This was the only place she should turn to. 

“Maybe I should listen to Rose,” Poe utters under his breath. “Why were you captured, Kylo?”

His brow shot up mockingly. “I reckon this has been your goal?”

“I meant the First Order. One of our allies told me that you were scheduled to be executed. For what crime?”

“Take a wild guess, captain.”

Poe sighed, exasperated. “Were you or were you not defecting?”

“Who do you think was feeding you information the entire year?” Ben asked in return. 

He knows he has to play nice if he was ever going to get out of here without violence. He really could choose the easy way, but that won’t make it easy to get along with Rey. She has compassion for these people. And they were once his people too.  
  


Poe shook his head in disbelief. “Don’t lie. Hux already confessed.”

“Hux was under _my_ influence. A loyal pawn to the First Order won’t be so easy to betray it.” 

The rebel captain--or is it commander now?--took tentative steps forward and crouches in front of him. 

“Are you saying your loyalties changed?”

Ben looked him in the eye, studying him, and decided to be simple about the truth. “I’m saying I’ll do whatever it takes to keep her safe.”

For the second time, Poe shook his head. “That’s not enough.” He stands up and nods at the woman with the two buns. “He’s still too much of a threat. We can’t trust him.”

Just then, the little rebel who smiled at him enters the tent with a familiar face right behind her. 

“Everyone, lower your blasters.” FN-2187 turns to Poe, urging him to follow him. 

As the two leave the room, Ben watches the former stormtrooper look at him with cautiousness and distaste. Then the small woman--Rose, he thinks--tends to his binds as the people around them obeys in confusion.

“What’s happening?” Two Buns asks. “Why are you freeing him?”

Rose stares at him with a hidden smile. “The General said so.”

 _The General_ , he thought. _Mom_.

“She won’t see you,” Rose whispers under her breath. “But she...she senses you. She told me that whether or not you’re here to help, she’s certain that you’ve come to help Rey. For now, that’s all that matters.”

“What if I was here to help her turn?” He wondered aloud. A big mistake, he realized, but it didn’t faze her. 

“If you were, I don’t think Leia would’ve set you free,” she answered simply. “Now come on before she changes her mind.”

Rose escorted him outside but his large frame was a magnet for glaring eyes and vicious sneers. Keeping his head down would be stupid, even as it crossed his mind. His mistakes were of the highest degree. He caused deaths and losses to these people. Years of irreparable damage was now staring at him in the face, no longer a ghost.

“They’re not happy about this.”

“Who would be?” Rose muttered. “You were the head of the opposing camp. Do you really think they’d be throwing a welcome party?”

Despite the grave circumstances, he appreciated the spunk and directness in this one. “Are you in the General’s inner circle?” Ben thought to ask.

She shook her head, then kind of shrugged. “Recently, I guess,” she said. “Everyone’s off in the front lines and she needed someone to keep things in order here. I’m the one who cracked your code, by the way,” and she looked up at him with that big proud grin on her little face. “That’s why I led an expedition to get the rest of the prisoners out.”

Ben sighed in relief. He nearly forgot about that. The trooper--AD-3728--must’ve sent the last transmission per his request. Ben only discovered a month ago that Hux had managed to trap rallying allies of the Resistance after the battle in Crait. He’d hired bounty hunters to track those who have tried to respond. Ben feels partly responsible. He blocked his mother’s distress call that day with a new device installed in their command ship. It was by accident that he found it, deep in the Outer Rim. He didn’t know that it could be used to trace those who were receiving the signal...or the ones trying to send one out. 

“How did you get in?” He asked, honestly curious. “Your ship could’ve been detected. And the Supremacy isn’t exactly a cantina you can just walk into.”

“The ship we used was a First Order transport. Chewie...uh, _found_ it.”

 _Hardly_. He knew the wookie had done great damage to the ones manning that aircraft. 

“And getting in?” He probed, interested more in the story.

“That’s more complicated to explain.”

Rose stops abruptly and for a moment, Ben was confused why up until he followed her gaze to the small-- _smaller_ \--creature in front of them.

Beaming, he greets her. “Hey, Maz!”

Though surprised, Maz hid it well and instead gave him a warm smile. “It’s nice to finally see you again, young Solo.”

Ben bites the inside of his cheek. He hasn’t heard that in a long while. 

“You too, Maz,” he says, a bit more composed this time. “I see you didn’t hide that saber at all, did you?”

“I did you a favor,” she retorts. “Even when you destroyed my castle.”

He winces at that, remorseful.

“Ah!” Maz throws her hands up. “I was better off moving anyway.” 

For a time, they just stood there. It had only been a handful of times that Ben ever got associated with Maz Kanata. After all, his father didn’t bring him around that much, too afraid of worrying Leia. But the times that he did always sparked joyful if not unusual memories. 

“I hope you’re not coming to see your mother,” she suddenly tells him. “She told Rose she wouldn’t see you. Not today.”

“We’re not,” Rose pipes up. “I’m taking him to Chewie.”

Ben didn’t have time to mask his disbelief. “What?” 

“When did he get here?” Maz demanded, looking around. 

“He’s the one who flew us back,” Rose replies.

Ben tried to register what Rose said just now. Knowing how much his father meant to the wookie, he suddenly can’t understand why he let him live on the way here. Chewie must be waiting for him to be conscious so he can torture him. 

“I’m not seeing him,” he says, pulling back from Rose. “You don’t know what he’ll do to me once he does.”

“Relax!” And when she pulled at him, despite her small size, she was strong enough to inch him close. “He’s the one asking for you.”

“That’s not reassuring!”

“Kylo—” Rose stops short and corrects herself. “Ben.”

He stops struggling too and just looks at her.

“He needs your help.” She glances briefly at Maz and both of them turn to him with an intense gaze. “We all do.”

  
  


“Rey escaped the Supremacy before you got there,” he explains.

Ben kept his distance from Chewie, but the wookie was still staring at him.

“So how do we find her?” Poe Dameron demanded. 

Unlike Chewbacca, FN-2187 refused to look at him. “Rey told me that you, two, had a...uh…”

“A Force bond,” Ben fills in. “We’re connected.”

“Why is that?” Poe asked with a look of disdain on his face. “Can that happen to anyone?”

To this, Ben sighed heavily. He didn’t really like explaining to these people. “It’s an unprecedented occurrence. It happened with us because—”

_Because we were always meant to live side by side._

“—we’re a dyad.”

“What does _that_ mean?” Rose asks, inherently curious. 

“It means we’re one in the Force. A paradox. We’re a dyad because we’re connected and we’re connected because we’re a dyad.”

Poe looked unsure as he asked, “So...are you two...bound to each other?” 

Ben was unsure if he should answer.

“There’s more important things to worry about,” FN-2187 interjects. “Like finding Rey.”

“Right, right,” and Poe goes back to playing leader. “Can’t you find her? You two _are_ connected.”

“Something’s been blocking me lately?” Ben admits. “I can’t figure out what it is, but it’s preventing me from hearing or seeing her. But I do feel her. She’s still out there.”

“What did Rey use to escape?” Rose began to busy herself with the equipment at hand frantically.

“Knowing her, I’d say she used my TIE.” Ben was certain of it.

Not a minute has passed and Rose slams her hand on the table. All of them jumped at the sound.

“Her beacon!”

“What?” 

“I gave her a beacon before she left, and a good thing that I did, because it shows here its last location isn’t the Supremacy.”

“Where is it?” Ben pressed in close, looking at the screen. 

“Ahch-To.”

_What will she be doing in Ahch-To?_

  
  


He doesn’t know when they all collectively agreed on embarking on this mission together, but it wasn’t like he had much of a choice. 

He was still Kylo Ren in more ways than one; still that haunting creature in the mask, the leading figure of the First Order despite his current status. He was still the enemy. But he had blurred the lines in between more than a handful of times. Despite being the person they all fear and hate, he was also someone entirely different. He did try to help them—by taking them out of the war completely. His methods _were_ questionable. He was torn. He still is. But he does want to bring order and balance in any way he can, even if it makes him play on both sides of the field. 

And yet what he wants more than anything now is to find her; to bring her back, safe. 

To his relief, she will be more than safe in Ahch-To. She’ll be hidden. They just have to get there before she decides to move again. 

_I’m coming, Rey._

Ben won’t let her go again. 

_I’m coming_. 


	10. Where Ends Meet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Their journey nears its end.

There was a dark place that no one else could see. 

No one, but her. 

It was the past, the present, and was yet to be her future. But the end  _ is _ near, and it is forthcoming. There is no stopping it. 

Rey decides to meet it instead; diving headfirst. 

  
  


There was a space that needed to be filled; an empty space that used to be his father’s.

The Falcon is the last place Ben Solo ever thought he would be, and yet there he stood, gazing at the cockpit so familiar and so alien to him at the same time. Chewbacca kept a watchful eye, waiting. 

“Don’t mind me,” he mutters, his eyes traveling till he finds it hanging as though it had never left here in the first place. Maybe it never did. 

Han’s dice was swinging gently back and forth, toyed by an unknown force. Remnants of the battle in Crait were scarce, but this he remembered most in detail. He had felt it so faintly. It was an old memory; a time when he thought life was simple and forgiving.

Chewie groans. 

“I know,” Ben whispers. 

_ I miss him, too. _

He looks at the wookie for a moment, and in a blink of an eye, he was a kid again. Make no mistake, Chewbacca was still a giant to him. But as a child, he was a hairy mountain that was beyond reach. 

_ I’m sorry _ , he wanted to say.  _ I’m sorry for everything _ . 

But the words wouldn’t escape him. They were lodged in his throat like a bone, causing him to tear up. Ben clears his throat, but the weight just got heavier in his chest. 

“I’ll be by the game table,” he announces, barely able to look at anyone anymore.

He was ignored. Only the wookie sensed his distress. 

Poe moves past him as he left, unbothered, and takes his place beside Chewbacca. 

“Rose, are you sure about your readings?” The pilot asks for the nth time.

“Positive!” She shouts from the engine room. “I’ve made alterations on the beacon myself. She’d have forgotten she even has it because of how tiny it is.”

“ _ Why _ did you give her a beacon?” The former trooper demanded. 

Rose’s voice travelled through the corridor as she approached them, her hands dirty from grease and busy with the cloth trying to clean them. 

“Finn, she’s the one who strays farthest from us ninety-nine percent of the time. In case you forgot, she jumped ship on the Supremacy barely two weeks ago. I wanted her to have something that could lead her home.”

_ Home _ . Ben hadn’t thought of that word in a long time. 

Listening to the little woman talk about Rey, he realized two things. One: she really was quite the impulsive one. And two: whatever she was capable of doing, these people are ready to forgive her for it. They already have. 

Something brewed deep inside of him, an unfamiliar feeling settling in his gut. It took him two seconds to figure it out, but Ben thinks it’s envy. Not of her, but of them. As far as he could see, these people were Rey’s family; someone who would wait for her to come back, who would search for her if she was lost. It was something Ben truly wanted to be a part of.

But that was out of the question. 

He’ll never be able to be these people or even be  _ like  _ them, hard as he tried. Not that he wants to be anyway. But now, he can only take comfort in the fact that he was going to be there for her no matter what the circumstance will be—like they are—not only as part of the dyad or the Force, but because it was the one thing he  _ could _ offer without being completely rejected. At the very least, there was that. 

“You okay?” Rose asks, taking a seat next to him. “We’ll find her, Ben, I promise.”

Ben sighed heavily. “Why are you—” he began, but thought better of it. 

He was so fazed by the fact that someone like her, surrounded by loss and hate, would be so kind to him. But seeing as to how she spoke of Rey, how close she seems to be with her, he really couldn’t question it. 

“Thank you,” he says quietly instead. He meant it only for her ears, but the trooper heard it anyway.

“We’re doing this for Rey.” He looked down at him sternly. “Not you.”

FN— _ Finn _ left them then, joining Poe and Chewie in the cockpit. Rose simply shrugged and turned on the game table, trying very hard to distract them both. Ben understood Finn, where his distrust and distaste is coming from. He remembered that night in the snow. He almost did  _ kill _ him back on Starkiller Base. Of course, he’d be pissed. 

When Chewie called for Rose, Ben knew that they were approaching Ahch-To. It only took them a few hours to get there, not that time was relevant in space. As soon as they hit the atmosphere, he felt a disturbance in the Force.

Something sinister has been here.

They weren’t even on the island yet but he could already feel it. He’s lived with the darkness long enough that even getting a whiff of it would awaken his senses. 

Ben stood up and marches towards the cockpit, the view of a dark night greeting him. 

“She’s not here,” Finn declares rather forcefully. “We wasted our time.”

“No,” Ben countered, distracted. “She is. Or she was. I can feel her.”

The former trooper mutters something under his breath before leaving the cockpit abruptly. Poe takes after him, while Rose stays, standing right behind Ben.

“What is it?” She asks. 

He considered how to respond, but there really weren’t any words to describe what he was feeling. He has to find her. He fears the worse; the darkness claiming the only light he’s ever known. It had taken too much from him already. He wouldn’t be able to bear any more. 

For the first time since he’s fallen, he says, “I just hope we’re not too late.”

  
  


She climbed out of the pit, wet and cold. 

But she didn’t shiver. Rey was filled with defiance and determination, a strength to turn things around and end it all. Her faith in succeeding surpassed anything she’s ever felt before. Nothing can stand in her way. 

Palpatine will fall. The First Order will crumble. Everything that once hindered peace and balance will be destroyed, and she will be the one to wield the weapon. 

_ Yes _ , the voice urged.  _ You’re on the right path. _

A bright light whooshes past her and her head snaps up to find the Falcon swooping in from the horizon. 

They found her. 

Rey was overjoyed at the idea of her friends…

_ Friends I’ve abandoned _ , she suddenly remembers. Her heart plummets back down into the pit she just crawled out of, and her mind begins to twist these ideas into her head. They can’t be here for her. There must be another reason. After everything she’s done, they wouldn’t come for her. 

And then she sensed it.  _ Him. _

Ben Solo is here.

For a moment, she rejoiced. He came for her. He didn’t abandon her after all. He wouldn’t. But then, she thought about it again and that was a mistake.

Ben Solo  _ is _ here.  _ With them _ , she realized. Hux’s words echo in the back of her mind. It might be true. Everything he said, everything she refused to believe might’ve not been unfounded after all. Her hands clenched into fists, trying to suppress them. The hurt was gnawing at her. She felt betrayed despite her own betrayal. 

They were two pieces of the same game, and apparently, he was winning. But she had to know. She had to know that she had a place to this story--an actual part, and not just a placeholder for the great Ben Solo. Rey wanted to be certain first even though she could feel it in her bones that she already lost. 

_ Meanwhile, he’s out there gallivanting—and with the Resistance, too, I’ve no doubt. His mother would be ecstatic to have him back. _

Hux’s voice rattled her with ugly thoughts.

_ Leia would rather have her son than a scavenger like me. Trained by Palpatine, an enemy of the Resistance, and the Jedi. I am the child of darkness itself _ .

Worse, Ben’s words came back to haunt her.

_ You have no place in this story. You come from nothing.  _

And they rang true. 

_ You’re nothing. _

“I am  _ not _ !” She growled, her voice carrying over the angry waves and pulling out a striking lightning from the skies.

  
  


Exploring Luke’s hut was another thing Ben Solo thought he would never do.

Poe and Finn have began scouring the perimeter for any signs of her. The TIE was there, but its pilot was still missing. 

Chewie keeps his distance, the porgs all but surrounded him, fluttering about. Rose on the other hand has her eye on the horizon, searching. When the lightning tore the sky in half, she jumped just as Ben was about to tap her on the shoulder.

“What is it?” He asks, his hands filled.

“I don’t know,” she replies, still gazing up. As her attention returns fully to him, she notices the objects he was holding. “What are those?”

“Some of my things,” he says, rather in shock. “I can’t believe Luke would keep these.”

Letters he’d written his mother but never sent, sketches of his friends, piles and scratches of his thoughts all bundled up in a neat bow. And then there was his blaster, given to him by his Uncle Lando. Ben wondered if it was still in good working condition. 

“He might be more sentimental than you think,” Rose offers. 

Ben doesn’t think she’s met him, and he was thankful for that for some reason. He could easily debunk that statement but he didn’t. Despite being a stranger and an enemy to this little rebel, giving a bit of comfort appears to be her forte. 

He tucks the blaster in the back of his pants and leaves the rest to where he found them. 

“What did you find?” Poe demanded, running towards them. “I heard a scream.”

_ That’s funny _ , he thought. He didn’t hear it. 

“That was just lightning,” Rose replied. 

“Rey was here,” Ben added. “I can feel it.”

“Ah, yes,” Finn muses, coming up behind Poe. “Your dyad thing, is it?”

He tried very hard not to roll his eyes, unappreciative of the sarcasm. “And because some of the things I found in Luke’s hut were touched...and my clothing seem to lack a top.”

They all examined him for a minute and realized he wasn’t talking about the clothes he was wearing now.

Just then, Ben felt an unsettling vibration in the depths of his thoughts; like a nudge or a bump on the shoulder. It was near, and  _ loud,  _ whizzing with unfounded energy. Long ago, he’d encountered something vaguely similar. Small, but relentless. This thing, whatever it is, appears to be grown—whole and powerful. And it was disturbingly familiar.

He feared it. But as Ben turned around, he already knew that he was afraid of it because it embodied everything he placed his heart on. 

Rey stood at the top of the steps, overlooking them. Her spirit was agitated, he felt; her shadow, rigid. Each second she came closer, Ben was breaking. The darkness had claimed her. He could see it, feel it, and nearly touch it. The way he saw it in her was more than just a veil. It was a wall. It sheltered her from view, from Rey that Ben—or any of them—ever knew. And yet, as she landed, barely a hundred yards from them, there was a hint of her glistening in the glow of the early evening stars. 

Her body was shaking, but she doesn’t seem to notice. Rey was wet from head to toe but her eyes were on fire. 

“Rey!” Finn yells, coming to her without second thoughts and pulling her into his arms. 

Ben held her gaze, and she did the same. She seemed so unmoved. It wasn’t like her at all. 

“What happened to you?” He hears the former stormtrooper ask. “What did he do to you?”

He expected it. But it stung just the same. He would never hurt her willingly. And yet they have been unofficial for enemies the moment they met in Takodana. How does that seem like a lifetime away?

The sound that came from her nearly made the lot of them jump. Rey laughed as if it was the funniest thing she’s ever heard. 

“Hurt me?” She demanded, giggling. “Oh, Finn…” she muses, pulling him closer. 

_ Too close _ , Ben thought. And soon enough, Finn was trying to break away from her, the sound of him choking alarming them all. 

“I’m sorry,” she says and for a brief second, she sounded like she meant it. The way she even looked at Finn was worrisome. 

“Rey…?” Rose calls carefully. “Are you alright?”

Rey stares at her vacantly until the confusion settled in. “Why would you ask me that?”

“We haven’t seen you in a month,” Poe retorted. “Right after you jumped ship to be with—well, this guy.”

Her eyes find him again. But the warmth is gone. Instead, there was a mischievous glint in them that made his heart pound. 

“Hello, Ren.” Rey purses her lips. “Or is it Ben Solo now? For real this time…?”

He sighed heavily. This was going to take a toll on him. “No.”

“No what?” She asks, feigning innocence. “No, it’s not Ben, or no, it’s not real?”

“What did you do, Rey?” They felt like blaster bolts shooting out of his mouth, but the words were more of a whisper than anything else. He tried very hard not to whimper. Hopelessness was once again his friend. “What did you do?”

“I just did what you did,” she replies easily, moving towards him until they were face to face. “I abandoned you.”

“No, I did not!”

There was a tear at the mask she was wearing so well. Rey growled in protest, “Then why did you leave me  _ alone _ ?”

Ben didn’t have an answer. Not really. The journey he made truly was for her safety, but leaving her behind was also a miscalculated risk. There was also a part of him that wanted to see Lando by himself, to make the trip on his own. He didn’t know he was trying to prove anything at the time but, maybe he was. Solitude had always been his companion. He didn’t think twice about the decision of going off alone because he’s never had to consider anyone else. 

“It was stupid,” he finally admits. “I was stupid. I’m sorry, Rey. Please.  _ Please _ , forgive me.”

“For what?” The calm that overtook her was more unsettling than anything else. “It opened my eyes. We never could rely on others, could we? The Resistance, my friends...they can’t rely on me. And I—” her words fell out of her mouth, one quieter after the other, “—can’t rely on  _ you. _ ”

“Rey,” Rose suddenly pleaded when Ben couldn’t open his mouth to respond. “That’s not true!”

Chewie lets out a pained roar as Rey turns away. 

“You can rely on  _ us _ ,” Finn insisted. “Whatever happened, whatever you did—it’s forgiven. Rey,  _ please. _ ”

“The galaxy needs you,” Poe adds, the desperation evident in his voice. 

“What for?” She murmurs. “You have the General’s son back. Son of Light. The last of the Skywalkers.”

Ben recognized that tone all too well. It was envy. He felt his heart grew heavier. 

“That doesn’t matter! We started this together and we’re going to end it together, too. You can’t turn your back on us now,” Finn says. 

To this, Rey scoffs. 

“I don’t owe you  _ anything _ .” Her hand had gripped the saber attached to her belt, but her feet remained rooted to her spot. Only her head was slightly turned in their direction, a physical evidence of her restraint. “It’s you who are indebted to me. Remember that next time you fail me.”

It was obvious how her words cut through him like a knife, judging by Finn’s facial expression. Ben didn’t think she would go this far too soon. But then again, years spent in a hostile environment was bound to come spilling out like sand in a torn bag. It was only a matter of time. Her strength and will matched his perfectly, but they were not without faults. Their fall to the darkness wouldn’t be a swift decline, not really. Rather it was a gradual slip. One incident on top of another. One fear after the other. 

Madness, anger, insecurity—all of these were unavoidable weaknesses. But with betrayal, doubt, and loneliness, the Dark Side can claim you no matter how strong you are. 

Rey was no exception. She was human after all. Prone to pain. To sadness. To fear. 

Ben did what he had to do. He tried to take it away—all of it. 

This rare act has never been done before, and he wasn’t sure if it has ever been attempted. But he had to try something. The old Jedi mind trick was simple and could only commit simple tasks. Then again, only light-side users were known for it. He has an edge none of them has; the dark. Ben opted for something as painless as possible. 

Similar to his technique upon interrogation, he tried to see through her mind, probing at her deepest and darkest thoughts. It felt nauseating, swimming through all that muddled reasoning. Her self-hatred was just as strong as his, and he couldn’t understand it. 

_ What can she hate about herself?  _ He wondered to himself. 

In his eyes, she was everything he hoped he was strong enough to be. She was worthy of the love and forgiveness her friends were showering her with. He couldn’t be more in awe of her, and her strength. Her power. 

_ Power _ , he realized and it dawned on him. 

“Is this about Palpatine?” He asked her aloud. Her eyes snapped to his in a fury. “You didn’t choose it, Rey! Your parents did this, but only  _ you _ can undo it!”

“Stop it!” She cried angrily. “Stop talking!”

“You didn’t complete your training!” Ben reminded her, still trying to push through to get to the rational side of her. “You can resist it!”

Whatever plan he had flitted away as soon as the opportunity slipped through his fingers. Similar to their first encounter, Rey was strong enough to deflect his mind probe and turn the tables on him. Before she could thoroughly scour his thoughts however, Finn speaks, bringing up an important matter to the table.

“What about Palpatine? What else aren’t you telling us?”

  
  


They both stopped for a moment, but only a moment.

Rey was going down further than she intended. She had the upper hand; on Ben Solo, and the Resistance. She thought she could still keep up appearances, being Luke’s replacement as the last of the Jedis. But being what she was, or  _ is _ …

Her blood boiled at the thought, but more so at Ben Solo. She screamed. There was an explosion that came from inside of her that catapulted everyone in different directions. 

Nearly everyone.

Ben was still standing by, keeping still as he fought against her energy. Looking at him now, there was nothing but pure hate. He wanted so much from her, and she’d willingly handed him half of it. She recoiled from the thought of ever wanting to save him, not after he’s betrayed her like this. 

“Hux was right,” she murmured, almost to herself. 

He only looked at her, confused. 

“You have abandoned me.”

“No, Rey—”

In a swift move, one neither of them anticipated, she ignited her saber and stabbed him in the heart. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took me quite some time because I wanted to be in both of their head spaces, but also move the story along. This wasn't supposed to be my replacement scene for the Kef Bir duel but it happened that way. I will try to get them to Kef Bir (and I'll have to think of another reason other than getting the Wayfinder.) If you noticed, I did choose to write the Ahch-To scene ahead, but that's because I always imagined the trunk of Ben Solo's things kept by Luke...*sighs* if only. 
> 
> Anyway! ANY ideas you have are welcome. I like to think I only have 5 more chapters left to end my fix-it fic (it might be less, I'm not sure!) but I do have a modern AU story brewing so let me know if you would like to read about an up and coming painter called Rey who moves next-door to a secret art prodigy.


	11. A Soul to Save

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I know."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm dropping this link to a wonderful Reylo edit because writing scenes for this chapter completely parallels the amazing work done in this video here! It's what I wanted to get across (sort of, especially on the 1:45 mark) so you can watch it before reading this chapter or after (you can do both!) and give some love to Anna Lawrence for sharing her talent because I tried very hard not to overly fangirl on the whole thing. Spoiler: you'll all squeal on the 2:49 mark bit.
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YMoXdScWmrs
> 
> If you have any links to favorite edits, drop them in the comment section below!

When Ben fell to the dark side, Leia felt a dull ache in her chest that wouldn’t go away. When Han died, she had a part of her ripped from her soul as if the very thing that livened up her spirit was sucked into the void. And when Luke found peace, there was also a piece in her that went with him. 

All of these killed the person she once was, bit by bit, until she was nearly hollow. But hope lived, and she refused to lose faith in the only thing that kept her standing. 

The pain she felt now was incomparable to anything she’s ever experienced before. This could tear the whole galaxy to shreds and it wouldn’t be enough. Her heart collapsed in on itself, opening up a void that swallowed her whole. It was as if she had found herself in a dark place without knowing it, and with no way of getting out.

Leia couldn’t even remember if she had closed her eyes, only that she felt a strange and deafening calm overtook her as she shattered her reality. It woke something in her, pulsating with energy, and soon she saw a figure forming at the end of her trail.

A young boy. Her son.

“Ben,” she softly croons and even the sound of her voice was young. “Come to me, Ben.”

He turns, and his big eyes filled with wonder opened up to her. “Mom?” 

“Come here, sweetheart,” she beckons and he obeys immediately, running to her arms. Leia caught him, wrapping him up in a tight embrace, and kissing his ears. 

“How I’ve missed you…”

Ben cries. “I missed you too.”

They stayed like that forever, or what Leia hoped to be an eternity.

“I’m sorry,” he says, nearly whimpering. “I’m sorry. Mom, I’m sorry.”

She sobbed, pulling him closer. His small form fit the crook of her body perfectly and she was thankful that she could carry him like she always had.

“It’s alright.” And she meant it. Mothers had a way of forgiving their children long before they apologized for any fault. She couldn’t understand it either. Right now, all Leia felt was love and warmth and hope. 

Ben was back. Ben  _ is  _ back.

“Listen to me,” she says urgently. “We will never have to be apart again. It’s you and me...and your father.”

When she saw his face and how it fell, she wondered if it was her forgiveness that he needed.

“Your father loves you. You know that.”

“I do.” It was quiet, but he sounded sure. That was a good sign.

There was something else. 

“Ben?”

He sniffed but didn’t sob. He didn’t reply either. His body shook as he contained it and yet Leia felt it all the same. It was the shame, and guilt, and doubt. It was his hatred for himself. It was his failure haunting him; his mistakes. She had those too, but she always learned how to outsmart herself and the thoughts that could keep you up for eons. 

“You have to forgive yourself,” she tells him, whispering the words in his ear like a prayer. “You have to let it go. That’s the only way to become what you always wanted to be.”

“And what’s that…?” 

“Free.” Leia smiles, thinking about following her own advice now. 

  
  


When Ben opened his eyes, it was pouring. 

The world was dark and cold. But he wasn’t alone. Her hands were on his chest, and she was right by his side, sobbing. 

“Be with me, be with me,” she whispers, eyes closed. “Ben.” She sobbed hard. “Be with me.”

His wound was gone but the pain he felt still ached as he tried to pull himself up. “I’ll always be with you,” he tells her quietly, making her eyes snap open. “I  _ am _ .”

Rey wrapped her arms around his neck. The impact was so strong that he almost falls back down again. She was here, and this time, it was truly her; full of light, full of good. The anger that was barely contained now just a faint memory.

She didn’t say it, but he could feel her remorse.

“We can leave it all behind,” he says, rather impulsively. Selfishly. But he meant it. “You don’t have to fight anymore. We can fly off where no one would know us. Just...disappear.” 

“I can’t,” and she sobbed again. “I  _ do _ have to end this, Ben. One way or another.” When she broke away from him, the pain only intensified because she looked into his eyes with such sorrow, and a silent but inevitable goodbye. 

“I can’t lose any more,” he whispers. “Leia...she’s…”

“I know,” Rey replies softly. “I’ve put us all in danger. And I’m going to get us out.”

“Rey, you can’t do this alone.”

“No, but I’ll try,” and there it was, that defiance in her and the fierceness that won’t go out. “I can’t lose any more of you either.” Her words fell with the rain; tapping lightly on his person. “Especially you.”

It turns out, he wasn’t the only one remembering Takodana. Where he failed in his attempt to influence her, she succeeded in taking away his consciousness. Back in the dark, he dreamt of all the things he did to get here. Snoke appeared in flashes, so did Luke. His journey as a young boy, beloved and forgotten, to being an apprentice; a friend and confidante, a traitor and a leader, a pet...they all came to him, merged and jumbled like a brilliant star that exploded into dust.

Blinded, Ben squinted against the magnitude of his tragedy and found his father at the precipice.

“Hey, kid.”

Han Solo, alive--even just in his memory--was enough to propel him into another dimension. Days of his childhood leading up to the last time he would ever see his father again blurred together. Ben shuddered at the thought. That day took every ounce of his strength, to prove that he was no longer the boy who kept waiting for his family to come home...only to be more of him than ever before.

“I missed you, son,” Han says.

Call it reflex but Ben’s immediate answer was the same one he’d given him that day. “Your son is dead.”

A slight smirk forms on the old man’s lips. “No. Kylo Ren is dead.” With total and utter conviction, he proudly proclaims, “My son is alive.”

It was agonizing to hear it; simple and true. But his father is long gone and he’s the only one to blame for that. “You’re just a memory.”

“Your memory,” Han pointed out. 

_ What I could only hope to be  _ my _ memory, _ he thought. 

Albeit being a figment of his imagination, a spirit who is back to haunt him, or something else entirely, this was what Ben had wanted to have happened instead. If he could take it all back he would. 

“Come home.”

“It’s too late,” and it breaks his heart to say it. “She’s gone.”

“Your mother’s gone,” Han confirms. “But what she stood for, what she fought for...that’s not gone.”

The Resistance, he thought at first but, no. It was freedom. Leia fought for the fairness and freedom of all. She stood for hope; one that will triumph over evil.

“Ben,” his father pleads and that was all it took for him to realize what else it was she stood for--what his entire family fought for.

Him.

“I know what I have to do, but I don’t know if I have the strength to do it.”

Han reaches out to touch his face, reminiscent of that moment back on Starkiller Base, and says something entirely different. “You do,” he whispers.

_ Not a memory.  _

Ben realized that this  _ is _ his father, and possibly his only chance to set things right. He remembers his dream; his reunion with his mother.

_ “You have to forgive yourself,” _ she said.  _ “You have to let it go.” _

So he did. He didn’t let the past die, and he didn’t need to kill it. He just had to let it go. 

“Dad.” A word he hadn’t uttered in the longest time came out gentle but resolute, and it took everything in him not to break down crying. What did he want to say? What would be enough?

Instead, in true Han Solo fashion, his father smiles. “I know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If any of you were wondering where his lightsaber was, I have a fairly good idea where it is and I've yet to write it in. I'm steering off the movie more than I anticipated but I hope that it's fine with you and it's still fairly entertaining. We're close to the finish! Might update tomorrow *waves*


	12. Where It Leads

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything requires a leap of faith. Hope goes a long way.

Finn came to first. 

He landed on soft grass, thankfully, but a couple of feet below ground level. Creatures with big eyes, dressed in immaculate white robes were fussing over him relentlessly, alarming him at first. They spoke in a language he didn’t understand, bickering with one another furiously. Finn figured they were unhappy with what happened.

 _So am I,_ he thought bitterly and dusted himself off. He climbed a few steps up to find Poe still unconscious, his head slumped against a rock. Finn ran to him, checking for injuries. He sighed in relief to find that it wasn’t too bad, a couple of minor bruises on his back and nothing else. 

“Rey?” He immediately calls, searching for her.

But there was no response. Instead, there was Kylo Ren, lying unconscious on the stone ground and unarmed.

Finn considered it; the irrepressible decision to extinguish a formidable enemy. He didn’t realize he had moved towards him until he was hovering over the man’s figure, breathing slowly...alive. He could never trust him, he knew. Kylo Ren wasn’t just an ordinary foot soldier caught in between the crossfires. No, he was the perpetrator. He led people to murder, to war. 

This has to end. 

It was so easy to take his blaster and aim, but movement caught his eye and he turned just in time to see Rose in the doorway of Luke’s hut. Finn sees himself, standing by a defenseless man, and the image of him being a soulless murderer became too vividly clear. He breaks from his reverie, and moves away from Ren completely.

“Saving what we love,” he murmurs aloud, remembering Rose’s words. He shakes his head and proceeds to help his friends instead. 

Rose groans when he moves her, and she opens her eyes just in time to see his overly worried expression. 

“It’s not _that_ bad,” she reassures him. “I think Ben cushioned my fall.”

Finn frowned at the thought. “It’s dangerous to believe that everyone is capable of being kind as you are.”

“Why?” She whispers. “I’m not a standard, Finn. I’ve done bad things too.”

“You’ve never murdered anyone, Rose.”

“That’s not true,” and she looked at him the same way she looked at Poe when they first brought in the former Supreme Leader. Rose willed him to understand. “We’ve been in this war long enough to know that no one comes out of here with their hands clean. We’ve all chosen sides. Whether or not we actually pulled the trigger, we’ve had our share of sins.”

He sighs, heavily, but he was listening. 

“It’s not a matter of who’d done what now,” she continued. “We just have to save whatever’s left, whatever’s worth saving.” Her eyes darted past him to look at the General’s son. “That includes him.”

“Rey’s been rubbing off on you, huh?” Finn scratched the back of his head, nearly in surrender. “I’m still not letting my guard down around him.”

“I don’t expect you to.”

“And I suggest you do the same—”

“I’ll consider it.”

“But, I trust you and I trust that if the time comes that he turns out to be the bad guy we always knew him to be—”

“I’ll taser him myself,” she promised.

Finn let out a sigh of relief. “Good.”

“But Finn,” and she held on to his hand, urging him to look at her intently. “Everything requires a leap of faith. Hope goes a long way.”

Something sparked inside of Finn at the sound of hope, burning like a little match in the pit of darkness. It called for him. He looked around the room and, as if a hand was guiding him there, walked towards a little nook under a stone ledge.

It was loose and worn from years of repeated use no doubt. He fidgets with it a bit till he was able to pull at it altogether, revealing a wrapped object in old cloth hidden inside a secret alcove. The shape was familiar in his hand and, either it was intuition or memory, Finn knew exactly what it was before he opened it. 

“Is that…?” Rose peers over his shoulder, recognizing it too. 

He smiles. “It is.”

~

The dark expanse of the universe glittered with a million dying stars.

Rey looked on, her heart heavy with wonder and worry. She wished she had seen such beauty under different circumstances, but maybe it was the uncertain future that pulled at her, making the scenery all the more beautiful. 

She took it all in, knowing there was a possibility it may be for the last time. 

Rey had made so many decisions that changed the course of her life forever. From helping BB-8 and befriending Finn, fighting Kylo Ren and joining the Resistance; finding Luke Skywalker and becoming a Jedi; training with Leia and then with Ben...to this. Leaving. _Choosing_ to leave. Sacrificing her own safety for others. For him. For the galaxy. 

Life could’ve been a bit kinder, she thought but Rey also knew that if it was, she would’ve never had any of this at all. It’s the experiences that shape who we are; the hardships and trials, the success and triumphs. It’s not hereditary—as she will not make the same mistakes her parents did—and your fate is not immovable. 

She once saw Kylo Ren as the villain of an ongoing story. But then, with a bit of hope and an open mind, she was able to see that he may be the villain then but it won’t be for always. His choices were yet to be made, his fate to be decided. Rey liked to believe that somewhere back on Ahch-To, she made the right ones. And that he does, too. 

The TIE Silencer moved swiftly towards Exegol. 

~

The Falcon glazed past the systems, in a hurry to get back to base.

Poe was going ballistic. He didn’t expect things to go as bad as it did with Rey. Finn was more understanding about the situation, but his mind was pretty much occupied with the object he had secretly stashed in his vest. 

No one talked to Ben. 

Despite having Finn somewhat on her side, Rose was still unable to sway Poe’s opinion. In their eyes, he provoked her. That’s why she lashed out. They weren’t going to acknowledge whatever it is he knows about Palpatine, or even Rey, _at all_. Ben could see the frustration stirring on Rose’s face.

He figured he was the one to give comfort this time. 

“It’s alright,” he mutters, only to her. “What matters most is getting to her before…”

“Before what?” Poe snaps, overhearing him anyway. “We can’t follow her, not if she’s going to _him_. I’m sure the Emperor won’t be unguarded. We’ll be outnumbered. We have to go back to base.”

Ben considered that and found it only logical, but the thought nagged at him. He dragged out a breath. Leaving Rey to fend for herself was an idea he didn’t find himself comfortable with.

“Even with all of us, it’s still not enough to face an entire fleet,” Rose says quietly. 

Finn was quiet.

Looking at him tugged at Ben unconsciously; something in the back of his mind, lurking in the corner, and desperate to get out.

“We’ll need an armada.” Finn stared at all of them, shaking his head. “Where in the galaxy are we gonna get one?”

“The prisoners we saved don’t even make half the numbers,” Rose added, deep in her thoughts. “Is there any other place they could’ve taken them?” She looks up at him now and it took Ben a few minutes to realize that she was addressing him.

He tried to not relish the moment too much, from being separated from _them_ —the First Order, the enemy. It didn’t exactly mean that he was one of them, but at the very least, he was no longer treated with indifference. They were _trying_ to include him. He looked at Finn again and saw him waiting for his response. 

That’s when it hit him.

“Kef Bir!”

“I don’t think now’s the best time for a fly-by,” Poe says.

“Trust me, it’s not,” Ben insists.

“Now _that_ is another request I can’t grant—”

It was Finn who speaks up this time. “No, wait,” and he turns to Rose. “Didn’t you say you picked up a responding signal from Kef Bir?”

“I did. It’s insistent, but we haven’t tracked anything that’s—”

Ben cut her off. “They’re stormtroopers. Defective troopers.” He glances at Finn. “They won’t follow me—which is understandable. But _you_ can lead them.”

“Why me?” He looked genuinely puzzled. 

To this, Ben smiles. “That’s because you’re a traitor.”

“I’m beginning to think you are, too,” he whispers.

For a moment, they understood each other perfectly. Finn smirked. Rose huffed but it was undeniable that she was amused.

Poe only rolls his eyes. “Alright, save it for the parade. Let’s go.”

Kef Bir wasn’t on the way, but they made good time thanks to the Falcon. 

“How did you know about Kef Bir?” Rose asked, her eyes glued to her equipment. “Their code is nearly impossible to decode.”

“They’re smart,” he commends, looking over her shoulder. “It’s the only way the First Order won’t know they survived.”

“Survive what?” Finn demanded, interested now.

Ben sighs. It wasn’t going to be easy to tell a former trooper this one.

“Their execution,” he finally says. 

It was right after being Supreme Leader when it happened.

Phasma was dead, thanks to a former stormtrooper who faced her off during the chaos pre-Crait. Ben now had a pretty good guess who it was. The aftermath of that fight was unexpected. It was Hux who told him that some of their well-trained troopers have gone up in arms against them. The General insisted they were taken out before their numbers grew. That’s how Ben got acquainted with AD-3728. 

As soon as they landed, Poe held him off. 

“I think it’s best that you hide for now,” he tells him. “They won’t take it kindly to find the man who granted their death sentence.”

“That’s why I leave it up to you,” Ben says, looking at Finn. “You’re the reason they stood up against the Order.”

Rose smiled at this, gazing up at the man beside. “You gave them hope.”

“They’ll follow you...Finn.”

Ben watched as determination overtook the boy’s face. He recognized the pattern of behavior on Rey. Maybe that’s why they’re so close, he thought. They are creatures fueled by encouragement from others. 

“Let’s do it.”

  
  


The first thing Jannah did was punch Ben in the face. 

“I can’t say I can blame you,” Poe mutters. 

“There’s supposed to be a follow-up statement to that.” Ben groans, holding up his bleeding nose. “Something to put a person’s mind at ease, maybe?”

“Nope.” And Poe moves back in the Falcon.

Finn took it from there, waving them both off. They don’t know what it is he said to them exactly, but it didn’t take long before Jannah was boarding the ship as well as two others.

“They’ll follow,” she says, only to Poe, and with one final glare at Ben, she settles in the back with her peers. 

“Let’s go, Chewie,” Rose says. “We have to round up the troops.”


	13. Darkness Rises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey reaches Exegol. Will she ascend?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Amazing music by Samuel Kim right here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V-O7HXXHcBs  
> I will drop another link for the following chapter so you can listen to it while reading (I figured it would help, given what I'll be writing).

“What happened?”

Kaydel greeted the group as they descended the ramp, one by one. The last to come out was a new face, watchful and wary, but there was no girl whose sunny smile had become all-too-familiar around camp.

“Where’s Rey?” She asks, knowing that’s why they disappeared, still looking at the Falcon.

Poe shook his head, his expression hard, and continued to walk past her. “I need to speak with the General. We need to plan our next move.”

“Poe.”

He barely halts in his step, but he turned just a bit to see her face beginning to crumple.

“She’s gone.”

Finn, stopping right behind her, nearly stumbles. His eyes widen at the news and watches Poe, shell-shocked. Grief didn’t bide well with the tired. No, it didn’t bide with anyone. 

No one said anything at first and Rose was afraid to ask what was with everyone’s haunted expressions, having missed Kaydel’s haunting words. But after a moment, she gave in. 

“What happened?”

Finn was the one to speak up. “Leia’s gone.” 

Rose rushes to Kaydel, wrapping her arms around her as they erupt into a fit of sobs. Poe couldn’t run fast enough to see her himself, with Finn trailing right after him. Hearing those exact words, Chewbacca lets out the most agonized cry, falling on his knees. Ben mover closer to him and slowly patted his shoulder rather awkwardly. The silence that came after was surreal. People were around but no one dared to make a sound.

  
  


Ben looked down at Chewie’s face; his eyes filled with tears. The wookie was in mourning. They all were. But this creature, his father’s oldest and dearest companion, had watched all of his friends die in this life. Ben can’t imagine how awful that must feel—or why he hasn’t been strangled to death yet. Chewbacca must hate him for everything he’s done. But the wookie simply sat still on the ground for a while longer, letting Ben stay at his side. For now, they held onto each other for comfort. They both lost someone they truly cared about. 

At one point, Ben fell asleep. He had grown weary from travel and grief. But he woke up leaning on Chewbacca, his arms sheltering him. From what, he doesn’t know. Everything is gone. There’s hardly anything else to hurt him, not when he’s done most of the hurting. 

Still, Ben felt small and safe, perhaps for the first time since forever. He didn’t want to be out of Chewie’s protection from the real world just yet; a world, he now recalls, without his mom or his dad. If the wookie could only protect him from that truth...

“Oh, Chewie,” he whispers, a tear slipping out of his eye. 

The wookie moans sadly in reply. 

  
  


The crowd gathered in a clearing, surrounded by their aircrafts, ready for a proper send off for the princess. Poe was beside himself to say the least. He couldn’t imagine that this day would come; to outlive the General herself. And yet here it was. When he first met her, he remembered feeling confused. What was it about this woman that could command an army, ill-equipped as they were, to fight against a large group terrorizing the entire galaxy?

But then Leia opened her mouth. She held everyone’s attention. She owned that room as if the world would explode if they didn’t listen to her voice and her judgment. Poe was entranced the moment Leia gave him the order to jump into that cockpit and show him what he’s made off. 

To him, she was his symbol of hope. And she always will be. Even if he had taken over from time to time, her guidance was something he depended on heavily. 

Finn had a hand on his shoulder, keeping him steady as his knees weakened at the thought of losing someone so close to his heart. It was unbearable to say the least, but he knew Leia. He knew what she would say to him if she ever saw him being this way. 

“It’s up to us now,” he whispers. “We still have a war to win.”

“For Leia.”

Rose comes up to him, her lips quivering, but with eyes filled with that spitfire spirit of hers. “For all of us,” she says. 

Poe nodded and looked at the faces surrounding them one by one. 

“There isn’t much left to say.” He swallowed a lump in his throat, threatening to bubble over the surface. “But the General only wanted peace for the galaxy. And she left it to  _ us _ to accomplish that mission. Today will not be the day we fail her. Today, we  _ will  _ bring peace to the galaxy, and we’re going to keep it there for as long as we can. No matter what it takes.”

“Facing the Emperor will be hard, but it’s been done before. We can do it again,” Finn adds, making the crowds cheer in agreement. 

“I’m sorry,” one man, a trooper whose name Poe keeps forgetting, says and they fall into a hush. “But despite this inspiring speech, the fact is that we’re heavily outnumbered and we don’t have the manpower. We don’t even have enough information on Palpatine’s forces.”

Some murmurs in agreement and worry fell heavily on their shoulders. Another voice— _ his _ voice—rose above anyone else’s, silencing the clearing. 

“But I do.”

Ben Solo walked up front, near enough where his mother should be, and stood in the center of the Resistance. In that instant, the whispering intensified. 

_ It’s Ben Solo _ was constant in everyone’s lips. Son of the General. Force user. Kylo Ren. Supreme Leader. Enemy of the Resistance. 

_ Is he good now? _

_ Traitor. _

_ Has he returned? _

_ Killer. _

Poe watched the young man soak it all in, standing his ground. For the first time, he noticed that his infamous scar was now gone. It was healed completely as if it was never there at all. 

The man from earlier spoke up again, this time in a harsher tone. 

“You can’t expect us to trust the word of a former First Order leader, no matter whose blood runs in his veins. He’s a traitor to the Resistance and he’s a traitor to the galaxy!”

“Pipe down!” Rose snaps. “Hear him out first, will you?”

“I hate to stir up conflict here,” Commander D’acy intervenes. “But it’s not like evidence of...his crimes are unfounded. Are we just supposed to believe that he’s here  _ for _ us and not against us?”

People began to shift behind Ben and the crowd parts for the big furry creature making his way towards them. Chewbacca stands by his side, tall and resilient. 

He growls. 

_ That’s the idea _ , he said. 

Larma looked away, and so did the trooper. Everyone piped down, too afraid to upset the already-upset wookie.

“I can’t make you believe anything you don’t want to,” Ben begins. “And I’m not here to absolve myself from my sins. You can punish me however you see fit. But my mother died for this cause.” He takes a breath, his loss more evident than any one of theirs. “And as Commander Dameron said; today  _ cannot  _ be the day we fail her. Whether or not you trust me is up to you but I’m really only here to help.” 

“‘Good intentions aren’t enough,” Poe says. “But that’s where we have to start, not end.’ Leia used to say that. And I, for one, am willing to heed her advice as always.” 

The boy catches his eyes and he nodded for him to continue.

“I may not be your symbol of hope in this side of the war. But I know someone who is. And I’m going to bring her back—no matter what.”

Poe takes that in. They didn’t have to trust him, not really. They just have to rely on his bond with Rey. The dyad must really be some powerful Force thing if it’s enough to turn Kylo Ren into some kind of hero. 

“Anyone else?” Poe asked before looking at the reformed Supreme Leader and giving him a slight nod. When no one replied, he was actually relieved. “Good. Let’s get to work.”

  
  


Jannah was speaking with Finn when the crowd dissolved back to their posts, working double time to prep for the battle ahead. 

Ben walked behind Chewie, watching them carefully. He didn’t want to admit it but he rather not be punched in the nose any time soon (again). 

He caught a bit of their conversation as they moved closer. 

“...we can’t save all of them,” she said to him. “You have to accept that not everyone shares the same sentiment about the Order. It’s the confused ones we have to try to convince the most. We have to offer them a choice—and make sure they know they  _ have _ a choice.”

Finn sighed heavily. From the way his eyes drifted down to the dirt, Ben could tell that the plan didn’t sit with him all that well. Still, he nodded at Jannah. 

“We’ll take what we can get,” he finally agreed. 

“Everything set here?” Poe asks, coming towards them. “We’re still trying to reach out to anyone who would listen, but we’re not getting much.”

“I should probably help Rose,” Ben murmurs. “There’s a signal blocker we have to get around.”

“Signal blocker?” They ask in unison. 

Ben can only sigh. He hated how good he’d gotten at trampling the Resistance’s efforts. 

“I’ll explain later,” he said. “Where is she?”

“The General’s tent,” Poe replied. “Chewie can show you.”

Ben nodded and left them to their own devices. Chewbacca was quick on his feet, moving ahead of him and almost served as a shield, making anyone in their way avoid them immediately. 

They reach his mother’s tent and there by her cot was a heavily-focused Rose. 

She looks up briefly and waves him over. “I’ve been having this problem for over a year. I can’t get past the initial system configuration.”

Ben examines the codes on the screen and realized something. He actually had no idea how to bypass the blocker. He only managed to install it but Hux tweaked it later on with the help of his best engineers. 

“It’s the blocker,” he admits. “I got it from the Outer Rim. We’ve been using it to divert your signals. But Hux—he found a way to use it as a tracker.”

Rose nearly snarls. “That’s why there were so many prisoners on your ship—”

“And that’s why no one’s been responding to your distress calls.”

“Kriff!” She slams her fist on the table taking Ben by surprise. “Sorry. I just—” and she trails off, groaning. 

“I know.” Ben looks on, regretful. “I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s—” Rose started to say but pauses. “Well, it’s not actually fine. But I appreciate it, Ben.”

“What are we going to do now?”

“I don’t know,” she admits, undeniably defeated. “With Leia gone—and with all of this—there’s no one else in the galaxy we can call on.”

For a moment, they sat there. 

Ben felt uncomfortable, not because of the nagging disappointment that was stemmed from his doing, but because there was something digging on his back. He pulls it out and Rose eyes the weapon with a look of confusion evident on her face. 

Uncle Lando’s blaster fit in his hand like a glove and like a meteor, the answer hit him with relentless spark. 

“Yes, there is!” 

Rey arrived on Exegol with much difficulty. 

Lightning here felt like rain; falling constantly and in great lengths. It was a miracle her ship didn’t get hit at all. Or maybe it was the Force, moving through things the way it was supposed to.

She expected a fight when she landed, with whom she has yet to see. But the place was empty. And cold. It was as if she was sinking, clawing her way out of the depths of frigid waters. It didn’t feel real, or of this world. In fact, it was the exact opposite. Being on Exegol felt like being suspended in an endless galaxy; an in-between of living and death. Her stars would have to shine brighter than her darkness if she was going to make it.

Rey shivered at the thought.

And then she sensed it. Hidden underneath the slabs of old stone, there was a power far greater than she’d imagined. The ground vibrated with it. If she listened carefully, it had a rhythm—like a chant she had been murmuring to herself this past year. 

_ Come to me. _

The breath in her lungs wouldn’t come naturally and her chest felt constricted with fear. She shivered again. There was an uncomfortable sensation ebbing from this planet and though she had a pretty good idea of what it is, there was something else that itched away at her skin. Having experienced releasing Force lightning, Rey had the distinct feeling of how a thing surging with electricity can be in such close proximity. This felt like that too. 

Each step she makes draws her power in, making it go haywire. You could rub two lightsabers together and create the same effect, but only it was inside of you, gnawing at every fiber of your being. 

_ Come to me _ .

Rey descended deep underground. Giant statues of what she can only assume are siths surrounded her. For a brief second, she recalled a vision: sitting on the throne, side by side, with Kylo Ren. She imagined having followers build something in their honor, and immediately she catches herself from an idea of such folly. 

_ Or maybe it isn’t, _ she thought and reached out into the Force. Rey tried to conjure him, feeling herself slip away piece by piece. She tried to remember her friends, the life she’s had before this, Leia and the Resistance. Her mind came coming up blank.

“Ben?” She murmured meekly, calling out to him.

Ben’s voice no longer felt...familiar. She couldn’t hear him anymore. She couldn’t even remember it as hard as she tried. There was just this one voice, pulling at her and dragging her feet across the concrete till she arrives at a clearing. The murmurs became united, and the language was something she found disturbingly familiar.

_ Welcome home _ , it said.

All around, they stomped their feet and chanted. Rey saw only dark shadows moving about, the entire arena covered in a ghostly crowd of black hoods and cloaks. 

“Long have I waited—” 

She turns and sees a crippling phantom of a man hanging by a piece of machinery. 

“—for my last apprentice to come home.”

_ So you’re Palpatine _ , she thought inwardly, glaring at him from where she stood. 

“All of the others are dead,” he continues. “Then again...all of the others weren’t you. Empress Palpatine.”

He motions to the throne, that wicked cold-looking thing, and moves towards her slowly. Rey backs away.

“You will take the throne,” he commands. 

Something in those words propels her into the past she’s buried so deeply, and the chants around her became louder. 

_ She will take the throne! _

The sound isolated her and she is once again a skinny little child, looking up at Palpatine sitting on the throne. 

“You will be _ Empress _ Palpatine,” he said to her then. “How does that sound?”

“But...I like Rey,” she remembered admitting. “Just Rey sounds fine.”

“You will get nowhere with ‘just Rey,’ child,” he grumbled. “Get out of my sight!”

Looking through a child’s eye, everything about Exegol and the Siths seemed like a dark fairytale. A dream. A nightmare. Then again, as a child, she never fully realized it. To her, it seemed normal because it was the life she knew. They were his children, apprentices who didn’t have anywhere else to go, discarded by their parents, and were linked with the power of the Force. There were eight of them and they varied in age among other things. 

Nedi was from Coruscant, and was fifteen at the time. She didn’t speak much to her, as far as Rey remembers, but in her own subtle way, Nedi always looked out for her. Nedi was the one who taught her how to read and write her name. 

Anxe was barely fourteen and didn’t say much, but he was a skilled fighter. He was the first one who left, to train off-planet. There was a night when Rey couldn’t sleep and wandered off. She found him practicing with two sabers, gliding off the floor in a beautiful dance. A dance that could kill, that is. She never saw him again after that. 

Khia and Erol were twins. Rey thought of them fondly now, as they’ve always tried to make her into their own lifesize doll. To her, they were harmless. But looking back on their days together, training under the eye of Palpatine himself, they were ruthless. A pair to behold, Palpatine used to say. 

Then there was Cyra and Verin, the two eldest and Palpatine’s favorites. Well, he favored Verin above all others. They were cunning and precise; never making a decision with the other. Cyra treated Rey with as much kindness and compassion as she was capable while Verin was the exact opposite. He always pushed her to her limit, even as a child. Back then, they were the parents she grew up with as her real parents were long forgotten. 

She was the youngest after Liv, an almost twin. Together, they were Khia and Erol’s counterparts. Palpatine always saw them as weak, foolish little girls who were gifted with the Force. She never understood it then, how much power she had. It was after the twins failed Palpatine that he sensed her strength in the Force, or so she assumed, because that night Cyra and Verin stole her away. 

It didn’t make sense at the time, being torn away from the only home she’s ever known; a home so dark and cold, that at night, she thought it was just Jakku being cruel to her. She had to leave the only family she remembers; Liv, and Nedi, Cyra and Verin. 

“You’ll be safe here at least,” Cyra told her before wrapping her up in a warm embrace. 

“She’ll never be found here,” Verin assures her, entering the tent hastily before grabbing her arm. “I promise, Cy. But we have to leave.”

Rey recalls the way Verin looked that day. He always seemed threatening to her, big as he was. But that day, he was simply frantic. It was a big risk, stealing her away from the Emperor. But Rey guessed that Cyra begged him to do it or else she’ll do it herself, and that won’t do. Verin knew that if Palpatine was to catch her alone, he himself would have to end her and she was his greatest weakness.

Maybe it was a trick of the mind or a misremembered memory, but Verin hugged her too before they left. 

“You have to fight now, Rey.” These were his last words. These were the words ingrained in her mind since she was left alone. “You  _ need _ to fight.”

Rey looks up at Palpatine now, her very core fueled by anger. She felt their deaths as if it was yesterday, as if she was there with them. This arena held their fates. They were once surrounded by Siths, always watching and waiting, ready to punish them for any mistakes. The chant was fainter now, their ghosts barely existing in this plane. But what they did remains.

“It is your destiny,” he says. “It has  _ always _ been your destiny to rule here.”

“I haven’t come to rule the Sith,” she counters. “I’ve come to end them. To end  _ you _ .”

“As a Jedi?” Palpatine laughs. 

But with resolve, Rey replies. “Yes.”

“No,” he claims. “Your hatred, your anger...your need to kill me is too strong for a Jedi. You’re a Sith, through and through, no matter how much you try to run away from it.”

She tried to ignore how much of that was true. She had every right to be angry, to want his death more than anyone else. He killed her family. He started this war. The galaxy will never be safe with him around. This has to end, and she has to be the one to do it. 

“Do you feel that, child?” He asks. “All the Sith that came before you, all the Sith that lives in me. They are waiting for you. You will be Empress as I pass on, and you will rule us all.”

“I’d rather die a Jedi than be your successor.”

Palpatine looks at her carefully, but she could tell that she was getting on his nerves. She will bend to his will. She can’t. 

“Is that so?” He sneers at her then, glaring with such venom in his pale white eyes. “Then their deaths would’ve been for nothing!”

Rey felt the ground quake and voices began to fill the empty spaces.

“They didn’t even beg for their lives,” he tells her. “They were set on protecting  _ you _ . I made them watch your sister’s execution, and they hardly flinched. Even when I burned Cyra’s bones and threw her ashes at Verin’s feet, he didn’t break.”

This made her want to just bring out her saber and be done with it. But something held her back. Rey tried not be swayed, to not heed her impulses. It was difficult to ignore, like an itch you can’t scratch. But she resisted it as much as she could. 

“They  _ knew _ you will be Empress, and you can revive them when the time comes.”

She suddenly thought of Leia, and Luke, and Han. All of those who lost their lives, and who are continuing the fight to end this war. Will she be able to save them? Or better yet, will she be able to bring them back to life?

“And dare I say, the time  _ has _ come!” 

There was movement and Rey realized that the echoes of the chants began again, stronger and closer this time. She was surrounded. 

“Trust your feelings—your hatred will guide you.”

Despite the heat bubbling to her surface, she stood firmly against him.

“No.”

“Strike me down and I won’t resist,” he promises. 

Palpatine raises his arms, leaving him wide open. Rey took a step forward. The opportunity was too good to withstand. 

“End my suffering, young  _ Jedi _ .” But even then, he said the word with such malice and spite.

The same one she recognizes as her own. 

“All you want me to do is hate,” she realized. “But I won’t. Not even you.” 

Palpatine falters a bit but immediately regains his composure. “Still weak,” he huffs. “Like your predecessors.”

Rey thought about Cyra and Verin, and the rest of her forgotten family. In their own way, they all cared for one another. They were creatures in the dark but they weren’t born of it. No one is. Everyone has a choice. They made theirs. Now it’s her time to make hers.

“You’re wrong,” she replies. “They were strong. Stronger than you’ve ever imagined. Strong enough to  _ love _ each other. And brave enough to die...saving me from you.”

“Ah, but they aren’t here now,” the Emperor says. “No one is here to save you. No one but me.”

“Who says I need saving?” She counters, that spark in her fire returning.

Palpatine seems to consider this, feigning amusement. “Maybe not,” he replies. “Maybe you are the Jedi everyone hoped you would be, the  _ hero _ of the Resistance. Perhaps you will end the Sith after all…” Then he chuckles, a bitter and terrifying sound echoing in the clearing. 

Palpatine moved towards her so suddenly that she nearly stumbled backwards trying to get away from him. “Or you’re just another fool who thinks they could not be swayed by the Dark Side. You forget, child. You  _ are _ the darkness.”

_ Choose. Choose. Choose. _

The chant rang in her ears. 

“The choice has already been made,” the Emperor claims. “You will ascend.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It really took me a looooong time to write because I was struggling to get the scenes right. It was hard not to rewatch TROS to write these chapters :( and I had to. So I finally did (just bits and pieces) last night. I hope you guys stick around for the last two chapters! There's so much to catch up on. Leave a comment or a kudos if you liked this and godspeed, rebels!


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